Thursday, May 28, 2026

HISTORY LESSON (SEASON 13)

 

Welcome to History Lesson, where we take a closer look at the movies that dare to tackle real-life events with varying levels of accuracy, drama, and WTF casting choices. These films promise to educate and entertain, but more often than not, they rewrite history with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. We’ll be your guide through the land of miscast biopics, dramatic embellishments, and historical “inspired-by” liberties, breaking down whether these flicks are Golden Reel Award-worthy masterpieces or just a big-budget Wikipedia summary. Either way, it’s more fun than your high school history class—and there’s popcorn.

This time around we will take a look at Season 13's fact-based slate....



HISTORY LESSON: BUT WHAT AM I?
Michel Gondry’s But What Am I? rides the fine line between heartfelt biopic and surreal comedy, chronicling Pee-wee Herman’s (Paul Dano) journey from beloved man-child to scandal-ridden recluse to a man rediscovering himself. The film follows Pee-wee — er, Paul Reubens — after his iconic show ends, navigating an existential crisis involving fake proposals, disinheritance drama, and a scandal involving an adult theater that nearly destroys him. Rooney Mara shines as Chandi, an eccentric Hare Krishna adoptee and Paul’s partner in misadventure, while Matt Lucas brings diabolical flair as Bernard, a scheming butler straight out of a telenovela. Gondry’s direction transforms this strange tale into a visual playground, blending whimsical Pee-wee-esque antics with introspective surrealism.

Though loosely based on Reubens’ life, But What Am I? takes liberties as wild as Pee-wee’s famous laugh. Historical accuracy takes a backseat to bizarre twists, like an inheritance scheme that pits Paul and Chandi against Bernard in a battle of wits. The result is a quirky mix of redemption arc and offbeat mystery, with talking furniture, beachside monologues, and a heartfelt exploration of identity. Dano’s performance carries the emotional weight while capturing the joy and chaos of Pee-wee’s world. It’s a poignant, oddball film that celebrates reinvention, proving that even when life hands you scandals, you can still ride off on your Schwinn into the sunset.



HISTORY LESSON: THE TOURNAMENT
Paul Greengrass’s The Tournament transforms Matthew Reilly’s novel into a sprawling historical thriller that blends Elizabethan intrigue with Ottoman grandeur. The film follows a young Princess Elizabeth (Raffey Cassidy) and her mentor Roger Ascham (Jamie Dornan) as they travel to Sultan Suleiman’s (Yilmaz Erdogan) palace to witness a legendary chess tournament in 1550. What starts as a prestigious competition devolves into a web of murders, blackmail, and espionage, culminating in a thrilling blend of deductive logic and moral reckoning. From Sean Penn’s sinister Cardinal to Asa Butterfield’s prodigy under fire, the ensemble cast anchors the film in a treacherous world where every move could mean checkmate.... or death.

Though bursting with political tension and palace intrigue, The Tournament plays fast and loose with historical accuracy. The actual Elizabeth never visited Constantinople, and there’s no record of Suleiman commissioning Michelangelo (Ray Abruzzo) to craft chess pieces or hosting a tournament to pit the world’s best players against one another. However, the film leans into these anachronisms to craft a tense, high-stakes narrative, making the real history secondary to the thrill of watching empires collide over pawns and plots. For fans of speculative historical drama, it’s a gripping reimagining of what might have been.



HISTORY LESSON: THE CRUCIBLE
David Lowery’s The Crucible transforms Arthur Miller’s classic witch-hunting drama into a fever dream of paranoia, bad decisions, and questionable poultry usage. Casey Affleck broods as John Proctor, a farmer whose biggest mistake wasn’t cheating on his wife (Rooney Mara) with Abigail Williams (Hailee Steinfeld) but underestimating just how far Abigail would go to keep the drama alive. After a chicken-blood-and-dancing soirĂ©e in the woods turns into Salem’s hottest scandal, Abigail weaponizes 17th-century gossip to become the BeyoncĂ© of witch accusations. Reverend Hale (Damian Lewis) and Judge Danforth (Michael Gambon) try to hold the town together, but between Abigail’s Golden Reel-worthy meltdowns and Proctor’s refusal to sign anything that might ruin his brand, Salem spirals into chaos faster than you can say, “Thou shalt not.”

Historically, The Crucible might take more liberties than a Puritan at a no-questions-asked bake sale. The real Abigail Williams was an 11-year-old, so her supposed affair with Proctor is about as likely as a Puritan disco night. The film nails the Salem vibes - minus the fact that, in reality, the trials were less about lust and more about land disputes and plain old-fashioned fear. But hey, the melodrama is juicy, the stakes are high, and you’ll never look at a chicken or a courtroom the same way again. If nothing else, it’s a reminder that humanity’s true weakness isn’t witches - it’s boredom and bad decisions


HISTORY LESSON: THE WILLIAM HUNG STORY
The William Hung Story is less a movie than a 90-minute existential question: Why does this exist? Jon M. Chu directs with glossy competence, but no one - not the screenwriter, not the cast, not even the ghost of early-2000s irony - seems to know what the film is trying to say. Is it a redemption arc? A satire of pop culture exploitation? A celebration of “you tried” energy?  Hung’s fleeting fame, built on being publicly humiliated, is reimagined here as some kind of inspirational cultural moment, which is as tone-deaf as it is desperate. Nico Santos does his best with a script that vacillates between earnest and embarrassing, but there’s only so much gravity you can bring to lines like “I just want to sing Rocket Man and inspire people.”

The film’s invented suicide attempt is especially egregious - shoehorned in as a manipulative emotional crescendo that borders on offensive. There’s no evidence William Hung ever contemplated suicide, and the scene reeks of the worst kind of Oscar-bait pathos: using imagined trauma to artificially inflate a story that doesn’t warrant this level of dramatization. It's not bold or raw - just exploitative, and deeply irresponsible. Hung’s actual story - that of a well-meaning guy who briefly became famous for singing poorly and leaning into the joke - might’ve worked as a short, self-aware mockumentary. Instead, we get a feature-length melodrama that tries to force pathos onto a punchline. It doesn’t honor Hung’s legacy. It cheapens it.
.

Wednesday, May 27, 2026

Release: Diary of a Wimpy Kid

 

Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Genre: Comedy
Director: Finn Wolfhard
Writer: Alex Conn
Based on the book series by Jeff Kinney
Cast: Finn Wolfhard, Woody Harrelson, Tina Fey, Keith L. Williams, Gracie Abrams, Dominic Sessa, Maude Apatow

Budget: $19,000,000
Domestic Box Office: $14,900,665
Foreign Box Office: $3,100,004
Total Profit: -$17,489,101

Reaction: Not even Finn Wolfhard's die-hard fans could draw fans into the cineplexes for this one - there simply didn't appear to be an audience for an raunchy adult-aimed film based on this kid-aimed book series.





"Despite the film’s self-satisfied warnings, its "edgy" meta-commentary isn't the free pass the filmmakers think it is. While some reboots successfully satirize their source material, this version thinks weed jokes are still the height of wit in 2025. Watching it feels like sitting through a middle school home movie where the only punchline is shouting a swear word every two seconds and calling it "comedy." By the time the credits roll, we’ve heard the same tired profanities so many times that they’ve lost all impact. It isn't edgy or transgressive; it’s just a lazy script that overstayed its welcome about ninety minutes ago." - J. Jonah Johnson, Daily Advisor


"We’ve been here before with Alex Conn: taking a kid-friendly property that already worked and slapping on a so-called “adult twist” in hopes that edge equals insight. The result is the same every time. Characters that aren’t sharper or smarter, just louder and more obnoxious. Diary of a Wimpy Kid has always carried a cynical streak, but it trusted kids to engage with it without crossing into empty provocation. This version doesn’t. The infamous end-credits cursing rant is the clearest example. Less George Carlin, more someone discovering swear words for the first time and daring the audience to laugh. It’s not subversive,  and it misunderstands both its source material and its audience." - Dexter Quinn, Cinematic Observer Newsletter 


"What was once a charming, relatable property is turned into an exhausting, juvenile mess. This version confuses edginess with comedy, piling on profanity, drug use, and sexual humor without much wit or structure to support it. Greg is no longer an awkward underdog but an outright unlikable narrator, making the film difficult to engage with. Even talented performers like Woody Harrelson and Tina Fey feel wasted in material that seems more interested in provoking than entertaining. It’s less a clever reinvention and more a misfire that misunderstands why the original worked." - Darren Holt, The Modern Comedy Review








Rated R for pervasive language, sexual content, drug use, and crude humor throughout.







SOCIAL SPOTLIGHT

 

Actors don’t just light up the screen — they light up the feed. Social Spotlight takes a look at how today’s stars promote their movies through the platforms that matter.

This round we have an Instagram story post from Diary of a Wimpy Kid director/star Finn Wolfhard....



Tuesday, May 26, 2026

Now Showing: Diary of a Wimpy Kid

 

Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Genre: Comedy
Director: Finn Wolfhard
Writer: Alex Conn
Based on the book series by Jeff Kinney
Cast: Finn Wolfhard, Woody Harrelson, Tina Fey, Keith L. Williams, Gracie Abrams, Dominic Sessa, Maude Apatow

Plot: The film opens with a trigger  warning to people who are sensitive to the word fuck and the use of marijuana. The character of Greg Heffley  animated says to the screen  there’s like 7 other Wimpy Kid movies that are PG and family friendly and they are all available to watch on different streaming services. It shows the different posters of the PG Diary Of A Wimpy Kid movies’ posters. Greg says so if you came into the theater to see some family friendly entertainment. Let’s pause for you to kindly walk out of the theater. The film cuts to footage of families walking out of movie theaters and complaining to cinema staff. Greg describes how he’s now in high school and in high school people swear, have sex we see two stick figures having sex Wimpy Kid style 
Greg Heffley then smokes a joint still in animated form and then says thanks to Rodrick. 

Live action Greg Heffley (Finn Wolfhard) breaks the fourth wall and describes how great it is that a movie is being made about his life. He says that this movie will be a movie at the Oscars. We see an awards show announcing Best Picture with Diary of a wimpy kid winning. Greg thanks the academy and the studio for allowing him to write and direct a movie about his story. He always imagined that there would be as all great stories must be turned into film. He also would like to stress that this is not a diary, it's a journal.  He discusses his fat childish best friend Rowley (Keith L. Williams) which he intends to rid himself of but he feels a charitable responsibility to keep being his friend so he sticks with him. 

Rodrick Heffley (Dominic Sessa) who’s a stoner who lives with his parents in Rye New York while going to Sarah Lawrence College. Greg says that Roderick is allowed to live with us because Mom heard about a sex cult at Sarah Lawrence. Although he is a junior when he should be a senior because he took a year off to tour with his band. But he’s back living with his parents and Greg’s  really pissed that his parents are cool with his hard partying and drug use particularly his favorite substance marijuana but he’s allowed to smoke it just not in the house. 


As Greg goes to school Roderick is in the basement listening to his vinyl records. He remembers he has to smoke weed outside. So he smokes a joint then runs back to the basement. He hears about the talent show that is open to all residents of Rye. He then calls up all his friends. 

While Greg is at school in his narration he thinks that high  school is a waste of time and when he is a rich and famous celebrity this will be gone and everyone will want his autograph. He envisions everyone wanting his autograph. But back to reality. 

He mentions in his voice over that he wanted to fake having a learning disability to 
be part of the “easy” group with the dumb kids. But his mom forced him to take AP classes. He feels good seeing the easy group reading Bink Says Boo. 

During gym class they are playing the game gladiator and Greg and Rowley are playing skins meaning while the rest of them are playing shirts and they tackle them. 

He sees under the bleachers a senior who’s the editor of the school newspaper named Angie (Maude Apatow). Rowley has an immediate crush on her but Greg wants to get  out 

Rowley says a girl is trying to talk to us. But Greg leaves saying he doesn’t want to hang out with pick me girls. Rowley asks what a pick me girl is and Greg responds by saying a girl that makes it clear that she thinks she’s  cool and hip and not like other girls.  Rowley asks what girl he would date in this school in this game. There is a voice over from Rodrick talking about how his mom should have an abortion. There’s literally free pussy just handed out to him on a silver fucking platter and he declines. Dumbass he says. 
That girl Greg wants to date  is Holly Mills (Gracie Abrams). She is portrayed as Greg's dream girl and he envisions them getting married. He also in voice over mentions that her family  is worth a lot of money. He imagines sitting by the pool in a mansion. 

The next day Greg is talking to Holly and he fails. Angie sees him in the hallway and offers him to join the school newspaper which she is the editor of. Greg says that it would be a conflict of interest for him to be writing in the school newspaper. Greg says that it will be a conflict of interest since he will be in the newspaper all the time . Angie walks away like whatever. 

Greg says in voice over that it is true  that he can’t be writing for the newspaper cause he will be in the newspaper. It also is true that Holly wouldn’t like me hanging out with losers like Angie and the school newspaper kids. She would like a wrestler as her boyfriend. 

That day Greg auditions to become a wrestler and gets beaten up by all the boys easily. Angie watches and giggles but offers support for Greg after he fails so hard. Angie takes Greg out for lunch. Greg starts talking about Holly and how she’s the one for him and it’s going to be a Hollywood marriage. Angie says Holly is not the one for you. This is all a projection from your mind of what Holly is. How much time have you spent with her maybe a few minutes after class that’s not enough to know you’re in love. Greg leaves and walks home. 


Rodrick and his band are packing up their instruments are hitting the road to play at Occupy Wall Street in Zuccotti Park in New York City . Rodrick says to his parents he’s going to play  a local concert with the band. The parents approve. 

Rodrick says we the 99 but Rodrick  says don’t tell dad because he’ll think I’m a communist and he’ll kick me out. Rodrick leaves with his band. He then chants we the 99 and raises his fist. 
When Rodrick and Greg are gone both Frank (Woody Harrelson) and Susan Heffley (Tina Fey) go to Rodrick’s room and steal one of Rodrick’s joints. They both smoke weed and listen to Nirvana’s Nevermind. 

Frank and Susan talk about how great it was their first date back in 1993  and start having sex in the bedroom. Susan says it was great being angsty young people angry at the world so in love with each other. Now look at us we literally have a picket fence. Frank says we also have financial security. Susan says you haven’t fucked me as good in a while. She keeps screaming fuck me harder. They look at security cam footage of the house and see and hear Rodrick chanting we the 99.

Frank and Susan and Greg who’s dragged along rush over to New York City to pick up Rodrick and they find Rodrick and confront him. Frank in the car is visibly worried about his boss at Goldman Sacha will think about this. Susan tries to comfort him. They arrive at Zucotti Park and Frank goes through a bunch of Occupy protesters to stop the Loaded Diper show and he unplugs the music. Frank says to Rodrick I’m sorry I’m not paying for you to go and tell communist chants at Occupy Wall Street. 

As the Heffleys confront Rodrick amidst the fervor of the Occupy Wall Street protest, tensions escalate. Frank, visibly frustrated, reprimands Rodrick for his involvement, fearing the association with a movement he perceives as radical. Susan, though concerned, attempts to mediate, urging calm and understanding. Rodrick gets mad at Greg for narcing. 
The Heffleys force Greg and Rodrick to go to the Rye Talent Show. Rodrick sees that the band is performing without him. Rowley tells Greg that he is in need of a new magic partner as his partner got sick. Greg tells his mom he’ll do it if Rodrick can play with his band. His mom reluctantly agrees. 

Greg does his magic show with Rowley and it surprisingly does well. Now on to the Loaded Diper performance which is Rodrick’s band. They play a song called Exploded Diper. It is popular. Greg finally asks out Holly Mills and she reveals she has a boyfriend. 

Angie texts Greg if he wants to hang out. 


After a party Rodrick is sitting on the porch  smoking marijuana and  offers Greg a joint and it makes him  feel good and less tight for the first time in a long time. 

He drives a bike to Angie’s house and kisses her and asks her to be his girlfriend. The last voice over is what 9th grader can say that their first kiss will be to a smokin hot 12th grader. He says and yes we fucked too. 

As the credits roll Greg thanks the audience for coming to see the film  and he in return says all the swear words he can. Fuck Shit Ass Damn Piss Hell Dick and Prick. 


IN DEVELOPMENT

 

Donkey Kong Country: Rounding out the voice cast of the latest Nintendo adaptation - Donkey Kong Country - will be Dax Shepard (Buddy Cames, CHiPS) as Funky Kong, Ike Barinholtz (The Hunt, "The Studio") as Krusha, and Fred Armisen (Unfrosted, The Bubble) as Klaptrap. Mitchell is at the helm of the animated blockbuster from a script by APJ.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Keith L. Williams (The Monster Squad, The Nickel Boys) and Dominic Sessa (Anarchy, Ecstasy) have joined Finn Wolfhard's R-rated adaptation of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book series. Joining them will also be nepo-babies Maude Apatow (The Essence, Guy on the Fly) and singer Gracie Abrams. Wolfhard is directing and starring in the film, while Alex Conn penned the adaptation.

Stretch Armstrong: Angela Bassett (The Stand, Dishonest) and Ruth Wilson (The Lone Gunman, Bunker 17) have signed on to join Ryan Gosling in the action figure adaptation Stretch Armstrong for directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller. Bassett will play a government official and Wilson will play a doctor. Giovanni Garcia is behind the unexpected adaptation.

Double Date: Olivia Rodrigo (New Christianity, Anarchy) and Joey King (Five Boroughs, Mimsley and Me) are set to headline the rom-com Double Date from writer Jacob Jones (Running from the Spotlight, Sister/Sister) about two young women after the same guy. David Iacono (Jurassic World Rebirth, Fear Street: Prom Queen) is set to play the guy between them. Nicholas Stoller (You're Cordially Invited, Bros) is set to direct the film.

1995: Grant Feely (ThunderCats, Gunner) and Nell Fisher (Dust Saint, Tethered) are set for leading roles in the coming-of-age drama/adventure 1995. The film tells the story of a group of friends who ditch school to go on a journey to find a haunted house. Stephen Chbosky (Wonder, Nonnas) has been tasked with the directing the film from a script by Joshua Collins (ThunderCats, The Friend Zone).

Lobo: Vin Diesel (Broadway, Gargoyles: A Tale Old as Time) was already at the LRF Comic-Con to hype this film - a solo Lobo film featuring Diesel as the main man himself. The film will depict Lobo hunting down a dying super-criminal across the cosmos, only to become tangled in a deadly family feud that threatens an entire planet. Diesel will be joined by Tom Hopper (Boba Fett, Crimson), who will play the dual roles of intergalactic mass-murderer Bludhound and celebrity superhero Gold Star. Doug Liman (The Lone Gunman, Life on Mars) is directing the DC Comics Universe production, which has been penned by Jack Brown (Blood and Glory, The Crow: Yomi) - marking his first film in the DC world.

Monday, May 25, 2026

PREMIERE MAGAZINE #351

 


THE ROUNDUP WITH JEFF STOCKTON (SEASON 36 ROUND 1)

 

Welcome to the all-new version of The Roundup with me, Jeff Stockton! It may look a little different, but you can expect the same level of studio-friendly, niticky-ness you have grown to know and love (hopefully).

Three films into Season 36 and already we’ve got one genuine blockbuster, two outright bombs, and enough overreaction material to keep me employed for another year. Let’s get into the biggest winners and losers of Round 1. Here's The Roundup....



BOBA FETT

If there was ever a proof-of-concept for what LRF can do with a legacy IP, Boba Fett is it.

For years now, Disney has treated the Star Wars universe like a franchise desperately trying to remember why people liked it in the first place. Bloated streaming shows, diminishing theatrical returns, and a general inability to decide whether nostalgia or reinvention should be driving the ship have left the brand creatively stranded. Then LRF hands the keys to James Wan and suddenly Boba Fett looks like an actual movie event again.

A $763 million worldwide haul and over $220 million in profit is the sort of result that doesn’t just justify the gamble — it announces that LRF’s Star Wars experiment deserves to be taken seriously. The biggest compliment I can give Boba Fett? It felt like somebody actually had a vision. Disney may want to take notes.


JASON MOMOA

At what point do we stop acting surprised and admit Jason Momoa has become one of the most bankable stars in LRF?

Seriously.

Tarzan was already a strong performer, but Boba Fett feels like the moment where this becomes a legitimate trend rather than a fluke. Momoa has somehow cracked the code of what modern action stardom actually looks like: charisma, physicality, and just enough personality to make larger-than-life characters feel approachable.

The irony is that Hollywood has spent years trying to force-feed audiences “the next big movie star” while Momoa has quietly become exactly that in LRF. Two major hits back-to-back changes perception quickly. Right now, if Jason Momoa headlines your movie, people seem willing to show up.


SEASON 36

You only get one chance to make a first impression, and Season 36 has gotten off to a strong start — aesthetically, at least.

The refreshed looks for LRF’s various editorial segments give the season a noticeably cleaner identity, and while visuals obviously don’t make or break a season, presentation matters. When everything feels more polished, the whole operation feels bigger.

More importantly, having a major hit right out of the gate helps calm nerves. A season always feels healthier when there’s an early tentpole giving people something to rally around. Now the question becomes whether Season 36 has enough depth behind Boba Fett to sustain momentum.



BOX OFFICE

Here’s the less fun reality: two bombs out of your first three films is not exactly the dream scenario.

Yes, Boba Fett hit big — huge, even — but one success doesn’t completely erase the sting of Three Rounds and Heartbeat both losing money. Early-season box office struggles have a way of snowballing into larger conversations about slate quality, audience interest, and whether the studio is programming the season correctly.

One blockbuster can cover a lot of sins financially, but creatively? You’d still prefer not to be batting .333.

HOLDEN ABBOTT

At a certain point, we have to stop saying “bad luck.”

I actually think Holden Abbott is talented. His early output suggests somebody who clearly knows how to write compelling material and has a distinct voice. But four straight bombs to begin an LRF career is the kind of streak that starts raising uncomfortable questions.

Fair or unfair, box office matters. You can only hear “underrated” so many times before executives begin wondering whether audiences simply aren’t interested. Abbott feels overdue for a breakthrough, because right now he’s dangerously close to becoming one of those writers critics respect far more than audiences support.

HEARTBEAT

I’m just going to ask it.

Are Paul Mescal and Carey Mulligan actually movie stars?

Because based on this result, I’m leaning no.

Now, before everyone starts yelling — this isn’t me questioning whether they’re talented. They absolutely are. Mulligan has delivered strong performances for years, and Mescal is one of the more acclaimed younger actors working today. But acclaim and star power are not the same thing.

A courtroom-medical thriller with respected actors, a recognizable premise, and Ralph Fiennes directing only manages $25 million worldwide? That’s rough. At some point, audiences have to actually buy tickets for “prestige casting” to mean anything commercially. Right now, Mescal and Mulligan feel much more like “critics’ favorites” than genuine box office draws.