Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Genre: Comedy
Director: Finn Wolfhard
Writer: Alex Conn
Based on the book series by Jeff Kinney
Cast: Finn Wolfhard, Woody Harrelson, Tina Fey, Keith L. Williams, Gracie Abrams, Dominic Sessa, Maude Apatow
Plot: The film opens with a trigger warning to people who are sensitive to the word fuck and the use of marijuana. The character of Greg Heffley animated says to the screen there’s like 7 other Wimpy Kid movies that are PG and family friendly and they are all available to watch on different streaming services. It shows the different posters of the PG Diary Of A Wimpy Kid movies’ posters. Greg says so if you came into the theater to see some family friendly entertainment. Let’s pause for you to kindly walk out of the theater. The film cuts to footage of families walking out of movie theaters and complaining to cinema staff. Greg describes how he’s now in high school and in high school people swear, have sex we see two stick figures having sex Wimpy Kid style
Greg Heffley then smokes a joint still in animated form and then says thanks to Rodrick.
Live action Greg Heffley (Finn Wolfhard) breaks the fourth wall and describes how great it is that a movie is being made about his life. He says that this movie will be a movie at the Oscars. We see an awards show announcing Best Picture with Diary of a wimpy kid winning. Greg thanks the academy and the studio for allowing him to write and direct a movie about his story. He always imagined that there would be as all great stories must be turned into film. He also would like to stress that this is not a diary, it's a journal. He discusses his fat childish best friend Rowley (Keith L. Williams) which he intends to rid himself of but he feels a charitable responsibility to keep being his friend so he sticks with him.
Rodrick Heffley (Dominic Sessa) who’s a stoner who lives with his parents in Rye New York while going to Sarah Lawrence College. Greg says that Roderick is allowed to live with us because Mom heard about a sex cult at Sarah Lawrence. Although he is a junior when he should be a senior because he took a year off to tour with his band. But he’s back living with his parents and Greg’s really pissed that his parents are cool with his hard partying and drug use particularly his favorite substance marijuana but he’s allowed to smoke it just not in the house.
As Greg goes to school Roderick is in the basement listening to his vinyl records. He remembers he has to smoke weed outside. So he smokes a joint then runs back to the basement. He hears about the talent show that is open to all residents of Rye. He then calls up all his friends.
While Greg is at school in his narration he thinks that high school is a waste of time and when he is a rich and famous celebrity this will be gone and everyone will want his autograph. He envisions everyone wanting his autograph. But back to reality.
He mentions in his voice over that he wanted to fake having a learning disability to
be part of the “easy” group with the dumb kids. But his mom forced him to take AP classes. He feels good seeing the easy group reading Bink Says Boo.
During gym class they are playing the game gladiator and Greg and Rowley are playing skins meaning while the rest of them are playing shirts and they tackle them.
He sees under the bleachers a senior who’s the editor of the school newspaper named Angie (Maude Apatow). Rowley has an immediate crush on her but Greg wants to get out
Rowley says a girl is trying to talk to us. But Greg leaves saying he doesn’t want to hang out with pick me girls. Rowley asks what a pick me girl is and Greg responds by saying a girl that makes it clear that she thinks she’s cool and hip and not like other girls. Rowley asks what girl he would date in this school in this game. There is a voice over from Rodrick talking about how his mom should have an abortion. There’s literally free pussy just handed out to him on a silver fucking platter and he declines. Dumbass he says.
That girl Greg wants to date is Holly Mills (Gracie Abrams). She is portrayed as Greg's dream girl and he envisions them getting married. He also in voice over mentions that her family is worth a lot of money. He imagines sitting by the pool in a mansion.
The next day Greg is talking to Holly and he fails. Angie sees him in the hallway and offers him to join the school newspaper which she is the editor of. Greg says that it would be a conflict of interest for him to be writing in the school newspaper. Greg says that it will be a conflict of interest since he will be in the newspaper all the time . Angie walks away like whatever.
Greg says in voice over that it is true that he can’t be writing for the newspaper cause he will be in the newspaper. It also is true that Holly wouldn’t like me hanging out with losers like Angie and the school newspaper kids. She would like a wrestler as her boyfriend.
That day Greg auditions to become a wrestler and gets beaten up by all the boys easily. Angie watches and giggles but offers support for Greg after he fails so hard. Angie takes Greg out for lunch. Greg starts talking about Holly and how she’s the one for him and it’s going to be a Hollywood marriage. Angie says Holly is not the one for you. This is all a projection from your mind of what Holly is. How much time have you spent with her maybe a few minutes after class that’s not enough to know you’re in love. Greg leaves and walks home.
Rodrick and his band are packing up their instruments are hitting the road to play at Occupy Wall Street in Zuccotti Park in New York City . Rodrick says to his parents he’s going to play a local concert with the band. The parents approve.
Rodrick says we the 99 but Rodrick says don’t tell dad because he’ll think I’m a communist and he’ll kick me out. Rodrick leaves with his band. He then chants we the 99 and raises his fist.
When Rodrick and Greg are gone both Frank (Woody Harrelson) and Susan Heffley (Tina Fey) go to Rodrick’s room and steal one of Rodrick’s joints. They both smoke weed and listen to Nirvana’s Nevermind.
Frank and Susan talk about how great it was their first date back in 1993 and start having sex in the bedroom. Susan says it was great being angsty young people angry at the world so in love with each other. Now look at us we literally have a picket fence. Frank says we also have financial security. Susan says you haven’t fucked me as good in a while. She keeps screaming fuck me harder. They look at security cam footage of the house and see and hear Rodrick chanting we the 99.
Frank and Susan and Greg who’s dragged along rush over to New York City to pick up Rodrick and they find Rodrick and confront him. Frank in the car is visibly worried about his boss at Goldman Sacha will think about this. Susan tries to comfort him. They arrive at Zucotti Park and Frank goes through a bunch of Occupy protesters to stop the Loaded Diper show and he unplugs the music. Frank says to Rodrick I’m sorry I’m not paying for you to go and tell communist chants at Occupy Wall Street.
As the Heffleys confront Rodrick amidst the fervor of the Occupy Wall Street protest, tensions escalate. Frank, visibly frustrated, reprimands Rodrick for his involvement, fearing the association with a movement he perceives as radical. Susan, though concerned, attempts to mediate, urging calm and understanding. Rodrick gets mad at Greg for narcing.
The Heffleys force Greg and Rodrick to go to the Rye Talent Show. Rodrick sees that the band is performing without him. Rowley tells Greg that he is in need of a new magic partner as his partner got sick. Greg tells his mom he’ll do it if Rodrick can play with his band. His mom reluctantly agrees.
Greg does his magic show with Rowley and it surprisingly does well. Now on to the Loaded Diper performance which is Rodrick’s band. They play a song called Exploded Diper. It is popular. Greg finally asks out Holly Mills and she reveals she has a boyfriend.
Angie texts Greg if he wants to hang out.
After a party Rodrick is sitting on the porch smoking marijuana and offers Greg a joint and it makes him feel good and less tight for the first time in a long time.
He drives a bike to Angie’s house and kisses her and asks her to be his girlfriend. The last voice over is what 9th grader can say that their first kiss will be to a smokin hot 12th grader. He says and yes we fucked too.
As the credits roll Greg thanks the audience for coming to see the film and he in return says all the swear words he can. Fuck Shit Ass Damn Piss Hell Dick and Prick.
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