- Sofia, Bulgaria
The Fall Guy
- Los Angeles, California, USA
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
On Location (Season 14 Round 3)
- Sofia, Bulgaria
The Fall Guy
- Los Angeles, California, USA
Box Office Breakdown (Season 14 Round 3)
Budget: $75,000,000
Total Box Office: $252,600,908
Total Profit: $38,794,882
The Fall Guy
Budget: $125,000,000
Total Box Office: $327,561,974
Total Profit: $49,556,901
Oh Deer
Budget: $75,000,000
Total Box Office: $293,644,485
Total Profit: $59,038,481
Box Office Facts:
Red Sonja
The Karen Gillan-led Red Sonja is now the 2nd highest grossing action film with a female lead for LRF. It only trails Mass Effect: The Shadow Broker (which had a far more high-profile cast featuring Alicia Vikander, Lupita Nyong'o and Tom Hardy).
The Fall Guy
The Fall Guy grossed more than 3 times the total box office of Dwayne Johnson's previous film for studio, AGOS: A Game of Survival.
Oh Deer
Not only was Oh Deer the first profitable animated film for LRF since Season 8, but it is now also the highest grossing animated film for the studio that is not part of The Banded Ants series.
Genre Rankings:
Red Sonja
Action: #72
Fantasy: #22
The Fall Guy
Action: #62
Comedy: #7
Oh Deer
Animation: #5
Comedy: #9
Adventure: #17
Season 14 Round 3
Total Box Office: $873,807,367
Total Profit: $147,390,264
Season 14 Totals
Total Box Office: $1,914,268,220
Total Profit: $227,649,893
Season 14 Total Box Office Summary
1. Captain Atom 2 - $359,703,502
2. The Fall Guy - $327,561,974
3. Tales of Skyrim: Stormcloak - $303,967,771
4. Oh Deer - $293,644,485
5. Red Sonja - $252,600,908
6. The Temptations - $138,681,418
7. The Devil's Passage - $96,266,756
8. Scream 5 - $79,445,884
9. The Young Pretender - $62,395,522
Monday, December 30, 2019
Release: Oh Deer
Genre: Adventure/Comedy/Animation
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Writer: Jacob Jones
Cast: Adam Sandler, Elijah Wood, Wayne Brady, Keegan Michael-Key, Alec Baldwin, Tress MacNeille, Miranda Cosgrove
Budget: $75,000,000
Domestic Box Office: $102,309,584
Foreign Box Office: $191,334,901
Total Profit: $59,038,481
Reaction: The curse of the animation films is finally over, with Oh Deer becoming the first profitable animated film for LRF since Season 8.
"I'm sure kids will have fun with this one, but I can picture their parents checking their watches frequently. While Jacob Jones' previous animated film, Accordion De Chanson, was too mature, he goes the opposite direction with this one." - Brian Edelstein, Time Out
"The story is kept simple for the kids, but there is probably enough humor to keep the parents entertained. The film moves at a pretty brisk pace, never becoming boring." - Geoff Bray, Slant Magazine
"Sandler and Baldwin are able to get some solid laughs out of their characters, even if the rest of the voice cast is less than memorable (and some are flat out obnoxious)." - Charles Yost, Oregonian
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Rated PG for crude humor and some innuendo
Top 10 TV Show Adaptations
Top 10 TV Show Adaptations
10. Bravo/Samurai
9. Dragon Ball: The Wrath of the Demon King
8. Star Trek: Enterprise
7. The Powerpuff Girls
6. V
5. Six Billion Dollar Man
4. Gargoyles
3. The Fall Guy
2. Runaway
1. The Prisoner
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Now Showing: Oh Deer
Genre: Adventure/Comedy/Animation
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Writer: Jacob Jones
Cast: Adam Sandler, Elijah Wood, Wayne Brady, Keegan Michael-Key, Alec Baldwin, Tress MacNeille, Miranda Cosgrove
Plot: Morning falls within the forest as all the animals begin to wake up. Upon a group of deer, one of them feels the sunlight beam across their eyes as he struggles to wake up. As Daniel Deer (Elijah Wood) glances around the area, he realizes that something about today feels special. Like it only comes about twice a week. Judging from the lack of clouds in the sky and the peaceful breeze from the wind, it would appear that today would be the beginning of the weekend! Excited, Daniel Deer takes a light shower by licking himself. Realizing he’s doing it in public, he sheepishly apologizes and hurries off to a more private area. Several minutes later he is shown eating some grass for breakfast when he sees his good friends Bob Buckshire (Adam Sandler) and One Antler Andy (Wayne Brady) come by him, playfully teasing him for his licking incident earlier. The three greet each other with some playful antler wrestling before the three begin to discuss plans for the weekend. Andy appears confused by something though. Why is it called a weekend. Bob tells him that this is when the week comes to an end. Andy tries to follow it up with a question on where weeks go, but Bob declares it a question no one's gonna know. After Andy reveals his plans to play around in the forest and try and wrestle a few bears (in which Bob justifies Andy's nickname of One Antler given how reckless he can be). Daniel admits all he was planning to do was to take a walk towards the lake and enjoy nature at it's finest.
Bob laughs off Daniel's ideas as boring and reveals his intent to find the perfect berry bush. The one animals had only heard about in fables. Daniel doubts the idea of a perfect berry bush, but the more Bob describes the bush, the more intrigued the two become. The three agree to forgo their plans and go off in search of the perfect berry bush, assuming such a thing exists.
"Oh, but it does!" brays Bob Buckshire. "At the sunniest spot of the forest. Away from all the trees and wildlife. The edge between animal civilization and human civilization lives the Beautiful Berry Bush. Containing only the very best berries" Andy and Daniel stare at Bob in confusion before he tells them that this marks the last time he'll ever say something that pretentious and rambles on about farting squirrels.
The three begin to head off in their trip to find the Beautiful Berry Bush, Bob leading the charge with very little success. The afternoon comes and a tired Daniel and Andy beg for Bob to let them rest. All of a sudden, the three begin to hear some rattling noises and begin to look around, curious and afraid to know what it is that is making the noise. Andy then steps on something and it cries out in pain. It jumps onto Andy in a fit of anger, slithering all around him and trying to tangle him up. It only ends up making him laugh instead, feeling like he's been tickled. Taking a closer look, Daniel finds that it's a rattlesnake. A rattlesnake that's upset over not being taken seriously. As she pouts, Daniel apologizes for disturbing her but says that they heard her hissing and wanted to know what was going on.
She reveals that she was practicing for when she took down a bigger animal, like a cardinal or a grizzly bear finding the competition in the 'Reptile Wrestling Federation' to be lacking. She declares herself to be Hissin' Hayley (Tress MacNeille), the wiliest snake in the forest, and perhaps the most dangerous. For justification, she showcases her championship belt. Daniel looks on in sheer bewilderment, while Andy tries to convince a cowering Bob that she's nothing to be afraid of. Daniel and Andy then tell her about their search for the 'Beautiful Berry Bush', which intrigues Hissin' Hayley. Despite not being the most fond of berries, she feels this would be a feather in her cap if she were to find something like that. She offers to join them, feeling that she can help take on predators and anyone who dares to threaten them. Bob is hesitant at first, but eventually warms up to the idea. The four make their way onto the forest, Hayley climbing on top of Andy to get a better view of everything.
The four travel throughout the night, trees having long been abandoned for a more picturesque view. Andy hails this fact, believing they're almost at the location. Bob denies this, saying that he follows the law of 'bad things happening to good animals in the middle of their journey', declaring that something bad will happen very soon. That bad thing happens to be Daniel wandering off to search further and coming across some mischievous raccoons, looking to have a midnight snack. The three rush over to find him, doing so by hearing the cries for help. Hissin' Hayley leaps into action, tying up one of the raccoons' arms and attempting to bite on their neck. One Armed Andy ends up wrestling around the other raccoon. The two raccoons then flee for their lives. Bob, having covered his eyes praying that the worst is over takes pride on 'doing his part'. A loud roar immediately shakes the four even further and the two look upon a menacing shadowy figure lurking over them. Andy and Hayley stand firm, ready to confront the bear...
The bear then asks in a concerned tone if everything's alright, taking everyone back. Bob, trying to be the bigger buck apologizes to the bear, saying they were having a friendly disagreement with some raccoons and says they'll be leaving. But the bear insists they stay over at his cave for the night, saying that it's awfully late and they could use some nourishment. He then introduces himself as Grizzly D (Keegan Michael-Key). Andy takes a liking to his name and begins to think up of a poem as they walk over to his cave.
Inside the cave, it's found to be a bit of a party atmosphere with several other bears talking to each other, dancing to some 'bear bones bossa nova' and making very bad bear puns. When introduced to the others, the bears give them a positive response. The four are then treated to some delectable insects. Something Hayley loves to death. The deer are not sure what to think, but after seeing Hayley enjoy them, they decide to take a shot. They wind up liking it as well. After several minutes of them enjoying the atmosphere, Daniel then explains their story to Grizzly D. Excited by the idea of finding a berry bush and fueled by his love of berries, he offers to join the group, citing his excellent nose. That said, he does ask for one favor...
"Keep this party a roaring!"
Bob agrees as the four toast each other to some more insects.
The next morning Grizzly D awakens the sleepy group with some leftover plants from last. As they nibble away, Hayley and Andy begin to talk about a type of animal they'd like to tussle with, they both agree they'd love to take on Bob and the two decide to plan a surprise assault, seeing him still be asleep. Sneaking up towards Bob, Andy steps on his tail while Hayley leaps down from Andy and begins to slither around Bob, aiming for the legs and gnawing at them. Unappreciative of their trick, Bob chases after Andy while Daniel and Grizzly D look on in hysterics. All of a sudden, Bob crashes hard into a tree and goes down. When he's awakened, he begins to rail on to his 'ma' that the walnut brigade have stolen his peanut brittle. Daniel and Andy help him up as they go walking. As they do so, Bob breaks out into a bombastic version of Under the Sea, causing Daniel to mutter under his breath that a mouse from California will be 'so happy' to hear he did this.
As they tread onward, they come across a fox stalking over a tree trying to convince a crow holding a piece of cheese that she's a very talented singer. Having seen this act before, Grizzly D tells the fox stop his shenanigans. The fox tells Grizzly D to back off as he's in the middle of something. The two argue for a bit before the fox calls his mother 'a growler'. This is enough to spark an uncharacteristic fit of rage from Grizzly D, frightening the crow and causing her to eat the cheese and fly away. The deer and Hayley restrain Grizzly D long enough, leaving the fox to chuckle, saying that he's no match for the likes of Foxy Jamie (Alec Baldwin). He claims he didn't even want the cheese anyway, preferring something more grand and delectable. Sensing an opportunity, Andy tells him about the Beautiful Berry Bush. This intrigues Jamie, as he's wanted to get his paws on something beautiful for quite some time. After some debate, Grizzly D permits the idea of letting Jamie join, saying he can't be angry at someone forever. Especially someone who loves berries. And thus another addition is added to the team. The six proceed to spend most, if not all of the day roaming across the forest, actually making some good progress. Bob is unsatisfied though, fearing that inviting all the animals along has slowed them down to the point where they will not able to finish their mission by the end of the weekend. Not that anyone seems to mind, as they seem to be enjoying each other's company.
The night falls and everyone decides to sleep outside for the night. Throughout the night however, Hissin' Hayley hears someone hooting within the distance. She slithers around, trying to find the sound. Awakened by Hayley's search, Daniel Deer comes to join her. Hayley whispers to Daniel, calling this the best time to strike. In the night, when no one is looking. The trouble is that neither of them seem able to find the creature. That is, until Daniel notices someone up a tree. Daniel shakes the tree lightly, forcing the creature off the tree. The creature glances and finds the two animals that took her off the tree and speeds after them, trying to attack. Daniel runs off, taking Hayley with him. When they return to the others and warn them of the danger, Andy goes to try and defend them, saying this is all a misunderstanding. The owl tells them that you don't just go up to a tree and force an owl off a tree. Daniel profusely apologizes for the mistake, but ends up getting pecked by the owl in the process. She calls them even, making her ready to forgive him. She introduces herself as Scooter Hoot (Miranda Cosgrove) and asks why the others are out here at night. Grizzly D excitedly tells her about the Beautiful Berry Bush and how it contains the best berries. Scooter says she's a carnivore, preferring to eat other animals. Hayley asks if she would like to join the Reptile Wrestling Federation, leaving her to be threatened to be eaten by Scooter. Hayley smiles, calling her a keeper. Daniel asks Scooter if she would be interested in joining anyway. Feeling a want to explore the outside world during the day time, Scooter accepts their offer and also suggests getting some sleep. Exactly what they do.
The next day comes along and as the gang continues on their journey, they come across a running river. Bob suggests they cross over it, but the others find the river too wide. Daniel suggests they create something to help them travel, he isn't sure what but maybe they can think of something. Receptive to the idea, Scooter suggests garnering some lumber and wood. The animals all search around, looking for someplace where they can find some wood for their transportation when Daniel comes across what looks like an unlit bonfire pit. He laments his disappointment, calling it unsafe and cruel to destroy their habitat by setting off wildfires. He gathers the others and they collect all the wood and sticks from what was once a bonfire and begin to build something that can get them through the river. In the end, they create something that resembles a boat. Despite being unsure of what it is at first, Grizzly D says he's seen them in oceans before from peaking in cities. After confirming it is a boat, the animals carefully push the boat into the river and climb aboard (with Foxy Jamie being the last as he ends up hitting on a female beaver to no success).
Sailing off on the river, they sing some quick sea shanties made up by themselves. The only one that isn't joining in is Bob. When Daniel notices, he comes up to him and asks what's wrong. After some resistance, Bob admits that he preferred looking for the Beautiful Berry Bush when the other animals didn't tag along. It was supposed to be their weekend, and now it's getting way out of hand. It's probably not even the weekend anymore. Daniel doesn't see what the problem is, finding them all to be charming and fun in their own way. Bob just says that it just doesn't feel the same is all. Daniel tries to think of a way to respond his friend's laments when Foxy warns everyone to huddle closer together as he's seeing some dark clouds. The two deer look up and express concern that a storm may be on the way.
Scooter Hoot keeps a look out on the river's path and where it leads. Seeing how nervous Bob looks, Foxy Jamie comes up to him and asks if he wants some to keep him comfortable. Bob quietly says no to him. Despite this, Jamie sparks up a quick conversation on how uncertain life can be sometimes. Before today, they were just normal animals, now? They're all together looking for that Beautiful Berry Bush. He then asks Bob how he'll know where the bush. After a quick silence, and some thunder, Bob admits he doesn't know if they'll be able to find the bush at this point. All of a sudden, the rain starts to pour hard and the winds begin to rise. Scooter flies off the boat so she can take a closer look, leaving Daniel and Andy to pilot. Scooter warns the others of rapids and urges them to hold on tight. Through several sharp dips, turns and bumps, the animals desperately hold on. But on one turn, the boat nearly tips over, sending Foxy Jamie and One Antler Andy overboard. Seeing this, Grizzly D offers his paw for Foxy Jamie while Hayley leaps up and onto a nearby tree, stretching herself and trying to hold onto the boat with her fangs. She yells out for Andy to try and jump on the boat. Thankfully both Jamie and Andy are able to get back on the boat just before Hayley's body gives out. Scooter grabs onto Hayley and places her on top of Andy. Though Andy is grateful, Jamie is stunned that Grizzly D saved him even though he was so callous towards him. Grizzly D only smiles, saying that you can't stay mad at someone forever. Jamie then apologizes for earlier, earning Grizzly D's forgiveness.
The rapids soon come to an end, and the animals believe the worst is over. But Scooter reveals that up ahead is a waterfall. Foxy Jamie is able to jump off before they reach the waterfall, but the others are not as lucky. Realizing the situation, Grizzly D jumps off the boat and tries to keep it from going off the edge so the deer can hop off as well. Only one deer fails to jump off, Bob Buckshire. In a panic, the other animals scramble to save him and just barely manage to do so when the animals all form a rope just as Bob nearly falls off. Daniel being the animal in the back so he can pull everyone back up. With Bob saved, everyone looks at the edge of the waterfall and assumes the boat has been destroyed. Bob doesn't care as he happily kisses the ground and expresses relief on being alive, thanking everyone for helping.
The gang decide to continue further away from the river, the storm having cleared up by this point. Sensing a lack of anything, Daniel confirms they've made it to the far ends of the forest. Everyone looks around, searching for the bush. Everyone that is, except for Bob who just takes it all in, watching everyone work together and trying to find the bush. He nods, walking in a straight distance and taking several glances at the other, his smile only growing wider. All of a sudden he bumps into what looks like a bush. After backing up and taking a better look at it, he looks at a small sign that says:
'Nature has blessed you upon this day. For at the sunniest spot of the forest, away from the trees and wildlife and standing at the edge between animal kind and human civilization, you have found the Beautiful Berry Bush' he becomes overjubilant, hollering to the others that he found the Beautiful Berry Bush. Being the first to hear it, Daniel leads the others to where Bob is and he introduces them all to the Beautiful Berry Bush and offers everyone to help themselves to some tasty berries. They do so and for a while they enjoy the berries at the bush...until Andy realizes something.
"Wait a minute...why do these berries taste like every other berry?"
The deer soon realize that even though this bush is indeed beautiful and it is full of berries. It is still just a normal bush full of berries. Despondent over this fact, Bob apologizes to the other deer. All this and it turns out it's just the same as the others. But to his surprise, Daniel tells him not to as this has been the best weekend of his entire life! He's gotten to do things no other animal has dreamt of doing and has gotten to explore parts of the forest he's never explored. But most importantly, they've all gotten to meet some new and great friends along the way. Bob glances over, seeing the others enjoy their berries, he tells Daniel he understands what he meant earlier about them.
He then comes up to them, making a heartfelt speech thanking everyone for joining the journey with them. Admitting that it started out as just a weekend exhibition with he and his friends, but as time went on it grew to something even better. He got to see what the world was like, and not only that: They met them. And without them, it's likely they never would have found the Beautiful Berry Bush. Hissin' Hayley for her courage, Grizzly D for his kindness, Foxy Jamie for his cunning wit and Scooter Owl for her navigation. He declares a toast, to the Beautiful Berry Bush and the friendships they've all created. Everyone celebrates, toasting to Bob's speech, eating berries and enjoying their time together as friends.
Post-Credits Scene: As the deer head for home, Bob gets a mischievous smirk on his face and asking his friends if they want to find the 'Luscious Lemon Tree' next week. After Daniel and Andy shoot down the idea, Bob says he was just kidding. The three laugh it off together as the sun sets within the distance.
Release: The Fall Guy
Genre: Action/Comedy
Director: Jon Favreau
Writer: Chad Taylor
Based on the television series
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Momoa, Glen Powell, Wesley Snipes, Eiza Gonzalez, Gabrielle Union, Evan Alex, Ed Begley Jr.
Budget: $125,000,000
Domestic Box Office: $128,449,238
Foreign Box Office: $199,112,736
Total Profit: $49,556,901
Reaction: It was just Dwayne Johnson's second on-screen role for LRF (he voiced Steve in The Banded Ants trilogy previously), after AGOS: A Game of Survival. This film obviously performed much better than that film at the box office.
"The Fall Guy is an old school action film with an old school mentality. Jon Favreau handles the action well in the director's chair, and the lead role plays to Dwayne Johnson's strengths as a performer." - Perry Manson, CinemaBlend.com
"Writer Chad Taylor showed his ability to write action-comedy with the Booster Gold series, so it's no surprise that The Fall Guy delivers on both the action and comedy fronts." - Michael Carthage, Associated Press
"While Dwayne Johnson is good in the lead role, Jason Momoa honestly seems too likable for the role of the film's villain. And given the villain's deeds, the film seems to have some difficulty deciding how serious it wants to be with its action and how funny it wants to be with its comedy." - Manny Duncan, San Antonio Express-News
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Saturday, December 28, 2019
Interview: Chad Taylor
In this first Season 14 edition of Interview, Last Resort Films president Phil Dolan sits down with writer Chad Taylor (Blind Faith, The Young Pretender) to discuss his latest film, The Fall Guy, and his recent experiences collaborating with other writers.
PD: The Fall Guy is something of a forgotten television series from the early 1980's, what inspired you to bring it to the big screen?
CT: I'd say there are multiple aspects to this project coming to life. The first is that I have always wanted to work with Dwayne (being a huge wrestling fan obviously plays a part in that). Not many people may know this but the second or third film I ever pitched to the studio was set for him to star in but it fell apart in the pre-production process and never came to fruition. After that point, I tried to find projects we could work together on but things never quite worked until he brought The Fall Guy to me, a property he had been involved with for 7 or 8 years now. I jumped at the opportunity because I've gotten a bit tired of the usual serious Chad Taylor dramas. I wanted to do a big dumb Chad Taylor action movie! I haven't seen much of the original show but there was something so pure about the concept - bounty hunter stuntman in Hollywood - that just seemed like a perfect canvas. And, as a result, it was the most fun I've had in a while.
PD: With the Booster Gold and Scion series seemingly wrapped up, do you hope that The Fall Guy leads to a film series?
CT: I certainly hope so! Box office permitting, of course. I've missed blockbuster series writing a bit so this was definitely meant to dip the toes back in those waters a bit. I'm an admirer of things like Mission: Impossible, Splinter Cell, Fast and the Furious, etc. and I wouldn't mind if The Fall Guy falls into a similar category one day (which is obviously a high bar, I know). I think you all will enjoy some of the action set pieces I have come up with this for this film, an area that was admittedly a bit of a blindspot for the Booster Gold series at times. And if this does become a series, I would hope to keep upping the ante with each subsequent film.
PD: Looking at the release schedule, you have a handful of films coming up over the next few seasons that you co-wrote with other writers. What do you like about that particular process?
CT: I think I speak for most writers here at LRF when I say that it is extremely rare to ever feel wholly satisfied with a script. I feel co-writing is a certain work around for that, to a degree. Collective writing can bring out different parts of the story that one writer may not be able to on his or her own, because we all have our own unique sensibilities. I think this worked particularly well on 'Showtime', once Mo and I found our groove with the show. Plus, life has been busier as of late so co-writing is a nice crutch to ease the workload a bit. And unlike earlier in my career, now it is mostly others coming to me instead of the other way around!
PD: The Powerpuff Girls was a rare misfire for you as a writer (mixed reviews and a box office loss), what do you think went wrong?
CT: You know, I'm not entirely sure. I said last answer that it is hard to feel wholly satisfied with a script and this is definitely one of those cases. This is something that I wrote and then went through multiple re-writes and re-casting (including being taken off of the release schedule completely at one point). Ultimately, the tone was very hard to pin down and this then had an effect on who the audience would be. It probably would have been best to leave it as a cartoon but oh well. When you're one of the most prolific writers in the game, you're bound to have a few misses.
Now Showing: The Fall Guy
Genre: Action/Comedy
Director: Jon Favreau
Writer: Chad Taylor
Based on the television series
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Momoa, Glen Powell, Wesley Snipes, Eiza Gonzalez, Gabrielle Union, Evan Alex, Ed Begley Jr.
Plot: Colt Seavers (Dwayne Johnson) has been a stuntman in Hollywood nearly his entire adult life. He hard work makes movie magic but his role means he’s fairly anonymous while well-known movie stars take the spotlight. He’s a tough guy but 25 years of work has taken a toll on his body and it’s not the highest paying job in the world. And in an industry such as this, Colt finds his amount of work slipping increasingly in favor of younger stunt workers. And so, like others in his profession, he has had to find a side hustle to make ends meet.
For Colt, he has recently found work as a fugitive recovery agent AKA a bounty hunter. By the order of the law, he hunts down people who have jumped bail and are avoiding the court. Bounty hunters have capabilities that exceed that of regular law enforcement (such as crossing state lines and not requiring warrants). Some jobs require going undercover while others risk the hunter’s livelihood - something Colt is used to in his other job, anyways.
Colt meets up with Vaughn (Wesley Snipes), the bail bondsman that employs him. Vaughn’s assistant Rosa (Eiza Gonzalez) gives him the details on his next job. Rosa is the main point-of-contact for Colt, giving him all the intel he needs on the suspect while Vaughn runs the show. Colt and Rosa have taken a mutual liking to one another but Vaughn doesn’t play any games and needs them both to focus on their jobs so he shuts things down anytime he senses flirtation between the two.
The latest job involves a criminal who has been spotted visiting a neighborhood gas station multiple times. Colt goes undercover in the mundane job of a cashier. After having worked undercover all day, the target finally arrives. When he checks out, Colt tells him he is under arrest and the criminal flees. He climbs into the ceiling of the store, hoping to escape that way. Colt climbs atop a shelf and listens for movements. When the time is right, he punches into the ceiling and finds that he has punched the man in the groin - actually hurting his own hand in the process. The man is now in agony so Colt grabs his leg and pulls him through the ceiling tiles.
In his other occupation, Colt is doing the stunts for successful actor Don Santo (Jason Momoa). Given their similar physique, Colt and Santo have worked together frequently over the years and developed a macho friendship. Santo asks Colt about the bandage on his hand and Colt tells him about punching the man through the ceiling in the junk. They laugh about it.
Colt’s home life is a bit tumultuous at the moment. He is recently divorced from his wife Sondra (Gabrielle Union), an actress whom he met on a film set years ago. Since their marriage fell apart, she has now rebounded with her much younger co-star, promising up-and-comer Lyle Harrison (Glen Powell). Colt and Sondra have joint custody of their son Jalen (Evan Alex) and they are on amicable terms so Colt meets Lyle for the first time at a Thanksgiving gathering hosted by Sondra. Colt’s quiet, humble nature clashes with Lyle’s brash personality. To make matters worse, upon learning Colt’s line of work, Lyle boasts about how he does all of his own stunts on his movies. Colt takes this as a slight towards himself and stuntmen, but Sondra tells him to behave as this is the potential step-father to his son.
The next day, Colt gives Jalen a tour of the movie set. He runs through the stunts he’s set for for today and his son is impressed. He shows him how the fake guns and other props work on set. He even introduces him to Don Santo, leaving Jalen star struck. Colt is clearly annoyed by the Celebrity Glow and the effect it has on people, including his own son. He helps make someone like Santo a star. Colt complains that his hand injury seems to be getting worse. When Jalen asks what injured it, Colt makes up a lie on the spot. Colt suddenly realizes that he forgot to take Jalen to his pee-wee football game. They load up in his red-and-black pick-up truck and Colt weaves in and out of L.A. traffic to get him to the game.
When they get to the recreation park, Colt realizes that the game has already started. He is disappointed at himself in disappointing Jalen. The coach still decides to let Jalen play while Colt apologizes profusely. Lyle and Sondra are in attendance and very disappointed in him (as they field autographs from random spectators). Mid-game, he gets a call from Rosa telling him they have a potential situation that only he is fit for and that he needs to meet with them immediately. He quietly slips away from the bleachers but before he reaches his car, he is blocked by Lyle (who has been trailing him).
Lyle asks why he keeps ignoring his son like he is. Colt says that a work issue came up but Lyle doesn’t believe him. Lyle is disappointed and says that Jalen needs them to both be good fathers for him to succeed in life. Colt is actually surprised to hear this coming from a young hotshot like Lyle.
Lyle then asks if this has to do with bounty hunting. Colt is taken aback but Lyle tells him that Sondra let him know what Colt does on the side. Seeing it as another feat to accomplish, Lyle says he wants in. Colt immediately rejects him but Lyle says that Sondra still thinks he gave up that job - something she wanted him to do for Jalen’s sake. Lyle will keep it a secret - and cover for him leaving the game early - if Colt includes him on one of his missions. Seeing that his hand injury is getting worse, Colt reluctantly accepts but tells Lyle he has to take this seriously.
Rosa and Vaughn tell Colt that his latest mission is on a private yacht in the Pacific. They believe that the target - a white-collar criminal named Joe, who is charged with money laundering - is using friends in high places to escape the country while out on bail. When Vaughn leaves the room, Rosa tells him that she feels like there will be high-level security on this ship and that this might be a two-man job. Colt rolls his eyes and reluctantly says he knows just the man for the job. She tells him to be extra careful and he promises her he will be. She says that he may even have a date waiting for him if he makes it out alive.
Colt preps Lyle for the job and they dress up like ship-workers. Despite one being an actor and the other a stuntman, Lyle suffers through having to serve people while Colt is an expert at playing the part. A couple of young teenagers are very cold to Lyle, which really pisses him off as that’s usually his key demographic. Rosa messages Colt that she is ready to contact the authorities on a moment’s notice. They spot Joe (Ed Begley Jr.) and secretly follow him throughout the lavish ship. He finally stops in on the master suite - where they pause their pursuit. It would be too risky to cause a scene in there so they sneak past security and look inside from the windows on an outer deck.
In the suite, it appears that Joe is accomplice in something much bigger than money laundering. In the high-class individuals in that room are arranging their involvement in an underage sex ring involving the girls seen earlier. The final entrant apologizes for showing up late, he was just finishing up below deck. Colt is shocked to find that it is none other than Don Santo. Not only that, but it becomes clear that Santo is the one renting this boat and orchestrating the whole thing.
Colt has lost signal (and thus contacts with Rosa) and says they should abort this mission and reassess how to approach it when back on land. Lyle, ready to get things done, is much more reticent to take action. Suddenly, they are spotted by guards who ask why they are looking in the windows. Colt starts to make up an excuse before Lyle throws a punch at one of the guards and a brawl ensues. As this continues, Lyle says that he spotted some jet skis down below and they finish the guards and escape on those. Lyle says that was his plan all along but Colt is skeptical. They outrace the guards on motor skies, who turn around once they realize they can’t catch the duo.
Upon reconvening with Rosa and Vaughn, Colt tells them about the mission. He shows them a picture of his partner, Lyle. They say they obviously know who he is, he’s in all the movies these days. He rolls his eyes and says that he was too reckless for this job. He acted like an action star without being able to do the real action. Colt tells them all the details about the sex ring and that he is good friends with Santo. Vaughn says they will forward this info to the authorities and it will move out of their hands.
In private, Colt is angry about this as he is distrusts bureaucracies and thinks Santo and the other rich criminals will get away. On set, Colt and Santo have a conversation where he tries to know more about Santo’s personal life. Over the course of it, he starts to figure out that Santo might have had security footage on the boat that exposes Colt. They both leave the conversation without touching on the subject directly. Santo invites Colt over to his mansion for dinner, and since Colt isn’t letting on, he agrees.
While performing stunts for the film, his brakes give out and the stunt car nearly crashes. Luckily he is a seasoned driver and able to bring it to a safe stop. He checks the car afterwards and is puzzled by its dysfunction.
Colt arrives at Santo’s apartment with Rosa in his ear. Santo is preparing wild boar meat for dinner. Colt takes a look at all of the movie memorabilia lining Santo’s walls, reminding him of better times. When they have dinner, they both keep up the charade and have a lengthy conversation, reflecting on their career together. Santo is the one to get the ball rolling and says that he knows that Colt was on the yacht that night. Rosa tells Colt to stay safe and be smart, in his ear. Colt offers to talk this out but a dozen security guards enter the room and Santo says that talking isn’t going to help. Colt lies and tells him that the police are already on their way with a warrant. This goes in one ear and out the other.
Colt stands up ready to fight and the guards get ready to swarm him. However, Santo calls them off. He says that he’s ready to do his own stunts and faces off against his old friend. This initially a fist fight on the dinner table, with Santo grabbing the meat fork and stabs it into Colt’s shoulder. This spills out into the lavish mansion, where Colt (with the fork still in his back) gains the upper hand in straight combat - no tricks needed. He starts to beat Santo to a bloody pulp when Santo throws his hands up and says that he gives up. Colt’s cocked fist freezes in the air upon Santo’s surrender. That is, until Santo makes a signal with his hands and says “Boys.” The guards come in to attack.
Colt does his best to fight them off. He pulls the fork out of his back and uses it to fend some of them off. He uses this distraction to climb up the stair railing and leaping off of it - grabbing the ballroom’s massive chandelier in mid-air and bringing it down on top of the men. He then starts to beat them one-on-one as they recover. He is able to slide out of the room and to the front door, where he makes a quick exit to his truck. Santo, still badly bruised gets in his sports car to follow.
However, Colt can’t make it far into the road before starting to fade from the stab wound. He eventually starts to pass out and his truck slowly crashes into the nearby woods. Santo parks his car behind and approaches. He opens the door to find a pool of blood gathering on the driver’s seat. He grabs the pistol sitting in the passenger’s seat, says “sorry, buddy”, and looks away while firing a shot to finish off his buddy.
A montage of people learning about Colt’s death.
Lyle, Sondra, Jalen, Vaughn, Rosa, and many more attend Colt’s funeral. Lyle is alerted when Santo arrives to grieve for his old friend. Knowing what he knows, he tracks Santo throughout the funeral service and starts thinking about how he should approach this. When the cars start lining up for the funeral procession, Lyle goes undercover as Santo’s driver in the last car in line. At first they make small talk but Santo begins to get annoyed by Lyle’s annoyingness. Finally, Lyle reveals who he is and that he knows what Santo did. Santo laughs it off at first but realizes that Lyle is being serious.
Santo lunges at Lyle and they begin to fight as Lyle tries to keep the car in line and not be suspicious. Santo gains the upper hand and goes to kick Lyle out of the driver’s-side door but Lyle opens the door preemptively and hangs out - sending Santo out flying. Lyle looks at Santo in the rearview mirror, adjusts his bowtie and smiles.
Meanwhile, Santo gets back up and shoots the cop who is at the nearby traffic stop to block traffic for the funeral. He steals the cop’s motorcycle and speeds up to pass Lyle by. He weaves in and out of the procession itself before finally reaching the hearse at the front. Santo leaps from the motorcycle to the side of the hearse. He punches through the driver’s side window and pulls the driver out, taking over himself. Lyle sees this and speeds up to catch him.
However, a trailing officer sees Lyle’s car break the procession and attempts to pull him over. He has a decision to make and so he decides it is full steam ahead. He drives the car up on the sidewalk and pushes it as fast it can go. When he reaches the speeding hearse, Santo tries to shoot at him but misses. Lyle executes the PIT maneuver on the hearse, to the shock and horror of all of the cars behind it. The cop catches up to the accident and demands that Lyle leave his vehicle. Lyle finally accepts the officer’s demands and puts his hands up while Santo laughs and starts to pull off.
Santo lets his hair down and lets it wave in the wind. All of a sudden, the casket in the back props open and Colt pops out of it. Santo is shocked while Colt tells him that gun that he shot him with was a movie prop - meaning it was loaded with blanks. Santo is now nervous and sees a bridge approaching. He swerves toward the river while abandoning the vehicle, himself. The hearse plunges into the river with Colt in the back. Lyle arrives with the police officer and they catch Santo before he can run away.
Upon seeing the hearse sinking into the river, Lyle feels it is his duty to Sondra and to his frenemy to retrieve Colt’s body - unaware that he faked his death. He dives in and reaches the hearse but finds it empty. When he gets back to the surface, he finds a drenched Colt smiling on the shore, waving to him.
Days later, Sondra hosts a family barbecue with Colt included. Lyle watches on the news as it talks about the high profile people arrested in the sex ring. Colt comes up and talks about what a wild week it has been. He explains to Lyle everything that went down: the prop gun, Rosa tracking down his location, and planning with Vaughn the fake funeral to lure Santo in and get him. All Lyle can do is smile in disbelief. He tells Lyle that he was impressed by Lyle’s work at the funeral. Maybe actors can do their own stunts after all? Lyle laughs and says, who knows, maybe Colt should try out acting some time.
Colt goes to get his phone and realizes he missed a phone call from Rosa. He tells Lyle he might have to head out earlier and points to the phone. Sondra overhears this and gives him a “really?” look. Colt listens to the voicemail and finds that it is not a new mission, just Rosa following up on the date she had promised him. He texts her and they set up a time for later that night. Colt says nevermind, he’ll be able to stick around for the whole party this time and goes to play football with Jalen in the backyard.
In a mid-credits scene, we see Colt taking up on Lyle’s advice and auditioning for a role in a commercial. Colt’s acting skills...not great.
Friday, December 27, 2019
Release: Red Sonja
Genre: Action/Fantasy/Adventure
Director: Lexi Alexander
Writer: Roy Horne
Based on the character created by Roy Thomas
Cast: Karen Gillan, Milla Jovovich, Zach McGowan, Manu Bennett, Sean Bean, Cliff Curtis, Max Irons, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Rosa Salazar, Mark Addy, Sadie Sink
Budget: $75,000,000
Domestic Box Office: $92,607,392
Foreign Box Office: $159,993,516
Total Profit: $38,704,882
Reaction: Strong numbers for this female-led action-fantasy film, especially considering the lack of big names in the cast. This is the highest-grossing fantasy film with a female lead since Made in Abyss in Season 6.
"Karen Gillan is given a well fleshed out leading role for a change and she makes the most of it. She's strong, sexy and vulnerable when she needs to be. It's a real star making performance." - Matt Carson, Arizona Republic
"The world of the film feels lived in and more authentic than most fantasy settings, but the plot feels all too familiar - with it generously cribbing from fairy tales and fantasy stories alike." - Jon Farrell, Hollywood Reporter
"I'm honestly surprised how well the film works. The plot is your standard revenge affair, but it is done well with a strong female lead. Red Sonja features several good action scenes and strong chemistry between Gillan and her male co-star, Zach McGowan." - Chris Mears, Slashfilm
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In Development
Zombielove: Sabrina Carpenter (Beartown, Tall Girl), Dave Franco (Life of a Champion, Zeroville) and Nicola Peltz (The Informers, Back Roads) have joined the zombie-themed romantic comedy, Zombielove. Peltz will play the main character's ex-girlfriend, Franco will play a wise-cracking survivor, while Carpenter will play Maika Monroe's sister. Marc Webb is manning the director's chair, while Giovanni Garcia penned the film.
The Refugee: The Liam Hemsworth-led sci-fi fantasy film, The Refugee, has rounded out its cast with the casting of Danielle Campbell (Being Frank, "Tell Me a Story"), Alex Pettyfer (Demons, Cleopatra) and Malcolm McDowell (Bombshell, American Satan). McDowell will play a king, Pettyfer will play a revolutionary leader, and Campbell will play a member of the revolution. Martin Campbell is directing from a script by Meirad Tako.
Walker: Kyle Chandler (Torso, Ypsilanti) has signed on to star in a new crime-drama from director David Cronenberg (Velvet, Maps to the Stars) and writer James Morgan (Cold, Teslin, Yukon). Chandler will play a detective who has to balance his drug and alcohol use, his new partner, his therapist and his latest investigation. Chandler will be joined by Gugu Mbatha-Raw (Vixen: The Totems of Zambesi, Shake Hands with the Devil) and Tim Roth (Rocket Red, Kingmaker Chronicles). Mbatha-Raw has been cast as Chandler's new partner, while Roth will play his former partner.
Superman: Man of Tomorrow: We already know that Aidan Turner ("Poldark", The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot) has been cast as Clark Kent / Superman, but now we know who will fill out a couple of the other major roles. Dakota Johnson (Outlaw Country, The Peanut Butter Falcon) has joined the film as Lois Lane herself, while Daniel Craig (Ypsilanti, Halo: Reach) has signed on to play Superman's arch-nemesis Lex Luthor. Jeff Nichols (Scion 3, Animus) is set as director, working off a script written by GRA-winner John Malone (Elysian, Torso).
Julie: Miles Teller (Before and After, Life of a Champion), Amber Heard (Zombieworld, Halo: ODST) and Cameron Monaghan (Elysian, Genetic Descent) have signed on to star in the latest creature feature penned by writer Ben Collins (Buried Memories, The Mutation). Teller will play a young man who meets a mysterious woman played by Amber Heard. Monaghan's role is being kept under wraps. Rodrigo Cortes (Down a Dark Hall, Red Lights) is directing the film.
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Now Showing: Red Sonja
Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Director: Lexi Alexander
Writer: Roy Horne
Based on the character created by Roy Thomas
Cast: Karen Gillan, Milla Jovovich, Zach McGowan, Manu Bennett, Sean Bean, Cliff Curtis, Max Irons, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Rosa Salazar, Mark Addy, Sadie Sink
Plot: During the Hyborian Age, in the Western Hyrkanian foothills, rests a small village. Ivor (Sean Bean), the village's blacksmith teaches his daughter Sonja (Sadie Sink) his trade and how to defend herself with a sword. As she grows up, Sonja regularly bests the young males in her village in sword-fighting and combat training. Her father tells her this is all and good, but he doesn't want her going out fighting and hunting like the men, but she can be his apprentice blacksmith.
Ten years later, Sonja (Karen Gillan) enjoys a picnic with Kalin (Max Irons), a local miller. Kalin proposes marriage to Sonja, which she accepts and runs to her father's forge to tell her the news. She congratulates her, but asks her if she intends to continue training to take over his business or if she plans on becoming a kept woman. She assures her that she will not become house wife taking care of Kalin's every need, and she wouldn't agree to marry Kalin if that's what she thought he would expect. Ivor says that is good. He sets aside some swords and begins forging wedding bands for the young couple.
Meanwhile in Turan, the capital of Hyrkania, Gedren (Milla Jovovich) prepares for own wedding to the widowed King of Hyrkania, King Bazrat (Cliff Curtis). Gedren asks Bazrat what he would like as a wedding present, and he tells her he does not need any present since he is already set to wed the most beautiful bride on their wedding day. Gedren meets with her advisor, the sorceress Vammatar (Shohreh Aghdashloo), and tells her what Bazrat said. Vammatar asks if Gedren believes Bazrat's comment to be true. Gedren says it has to be since that is Bazrat's wedding present. Vammatar tells Gedren that there is another set to be wed on the same day, a young woman in a small village in the foothills. She, not Gedren, will be the most beautiful bride that day. This angers Gedren. She asks Bazrat how important it is that she is the most beautiful bride on their wedding day. He says it is very important. Gedren tells him that if that is to be so, then he must send soldiers to the foothills on their wedding day to destroy a small village. She tells him that it can be his wedding present to her as well.
On Sonja's wedding day, she wears the same dress her late mother wore when she wed Ivor. Her father, Ivor, tells her how much he wishes her mother could be there to see how beautiful she looks on her wedding day. In a field just outside of the village, Ivor walks Sonja down the isle while Kalin watches his bride get closer. Kalin's attention is then captured by the sight of smoke and fire coming from the village. Everyone else turns and looks on in horror. Ivor tells Sonja to stay put while he goes to help. Kalin kisses Sonja on the cheek and tells her that he'll be back momentarily to marry her.
When Ivor and Kalin make it to the village, they find Lord Luthan (Manu Bennett) commanding his soldiers to destroy the entire village. Ivor rushes to his forge to arm himself with a sword, while Kalin rushes to his mill to grab his bow and arrow. Ivor and Kalin manage to take out several of Luthan's men, but they are overwhelmed by the numbers, and are slain. Tired of waiting around helplessly, Sonja runs back into the village. First she finds Kalin's dead body. She kneels down beside him and cries. Her wedding gown begins to become stained red from her groom's blood. She then heads further in the village, hoping her father is still alive.
Outside of her father's forge, she finds her father, dying on the ground. She is then attacked by the soldiers. She grabs her father's sword and fends off some of them, but they eventually pin her to the ground. Luthan walks over and says he doesn't see what all the fuss is about with her. Nonetheless, he tells his men to keep her still and he proceeds to rape her while the village burns to the ground. Afterward, Sonja lays in the mud, her gown completely stained red from blood. She is shattered at the loss of her father, fiance, village and virtue. Luthan tells Sonja that she is a better sword fighter than lover. He then orders his men to chain Sonja up.
In Gedren's chambers, Vammatar looks into her crystal ball and informs Gedren that the rival wedding did not happen and Gedren will assuredly be the most beautiful bride that day after what Luthan did to the other woman. Gedren thanks Vammatar for her help and finishes getting into her extravagant wedding gown. Gedren leaves her chambers and enters the palace's reception hall where King Bazrat is waiting with the priest. Gedren smiles happily.
Lord Luthan and his ride away from the destroyed village with a chained up Sonja. They ride into a coastal city where Luthan sells Sonja to a some slavers. Sonja is taken into a dungeon where she is scrubbed clean and dressed up in a red leather bikini. She is then thrown into a cell where she meets fellow slave Anissia (Rosa Salazar). Sonja asks Anissia where she has been taken, and Anissia tells Sonja that she has been sold into the local Duke's harem. Sonja asks what that means, but just as Anissia is about to answer, the cell doors open and guards grab the two women. Anissia tells Sonja that she about to find out for herself.
Sonja and Anissia are brought before the slovenly Duke Blanton (Mark Addy). Before them is a table covered in meats and fruit. He orders them to feed him grapes. Anissia immediately begins following the order, but Sonja doesn't move. A guard kicks Sonja in the back, knocking her into the table. Blanton laughs and says that it is in her best interest to oblige his every request. Sonja grabs a handful of grapes and begins feeding them to Blanton. The Duke laughs heartily. He then tells Anissia and Sonja to feed each other some grapes. After a couple grapes, Blanton orders them to stop. He says he doesn't want them to get fat from eating too much. He then orders them to kiss each other. Anissia kisses Sonja, but Sonja resists, pushing Anissia away. One of the guards then lashes Sonja's back with a whip. Blanton orders Sonja to try again, but this time to use her tongue. Blanton happily watches as Sonja and Anissia kiss and caress each other, but then suddenly he orders them to stop and leave his chambers. Sonja and Anissia are then taken back to their cell.
Anissia asks Sonja how she came to be sold to Blanton. Sonja looks down at her wedding band and says she doesn't want to talk about it. Anissia then describes how she came to be Duke Blanton's prisoner, and she describes how her family died while traveling through the mountains and she was saved by a man she thought was charming and handsome, but the man quickly sold her to Blanton as soon as they made it to the city. Sonja asks Anissia if she's ever tried to escape, but Anissia says it would be no use. Every girl who has tried to escape Blanton's custody has wound up dead. Sonja tells Anissia that the only thing she fears worse than death is spending the rest of her life here. This hits Anissia hard and she stops talking to Sonja.
The now Queen Gedren sits upon her throne beside her husband King Bazrat. Lord Luthan enters the palace. Gedren and Bazrat thank him for his good work at making their wedding the festive event it became. Luthan says he was just performing his duty. As Luthan is about to leave, Queen Gedren asks Luthan what became of the bride, and asks if she is dead. Luthan says he gave the young woman a fate far worse than death. He pillaged her entire village and killed her entire family. He broke her and sold her to slavers. Gedren asks Luthan if the young woman was beautiful. Luthan says that she does not hold a candle to the beauty of his queen. Gedren and Bazrat are pleased and send Luthan on his way.
Sonja and Anissia are brought into Blanton's chambers again. He once again tells them to feed him. Anissia does as she is told, but Sonja is once again defiant. The guard goes to kick her again, but Sonja quickly turns and grabs his leg, knocking him to the floor. She kicks him in the face and grabs his sword. Anissia watches on as Sonja kills both guards. She then walks over to Blanton, who is terrified. She then cuts off his head with one swing of the sword. Sonja cuts her chains with the sword and cuts Anissia's chains as well. Sonja tells Anissia to stay close to her as they make their escape. They make their way through the palace's corridors, Sonja killing each guard they encounter. They jump down from a palace wall and run toward the city.
In the city, Sonja and Anissia steal some robes to try to blend in as guards from the palace canvas the city to find the murderers of Duke Blanton. Sonja suggests they split up since the guards will most likely be looking for two women together. Anissia doesn't like the idea, but Sonja tells her it is their best hope at evading capture. Sonja tells Anissia to meet her at the northern edge of the city along the coast in the morning. Not long after, a guard spots Sonja and her distinct red hair and begins chasing after her. Sonja runs away and into a tavern. She sees a man (Zach McGowan) sitting by himself in the back of the tavern. She begs him to help her hide. The man sees the guard enter the tavern and start looking around. The man tells Sonja to get under the table and tells her to make herself as small as possible at his feet. The man then drapes a fur over her. The guard looks around the tavern and eventually reaches the back where the man sits and Sonja hides. The guard asks the man if he's seen a red haired woman, but the man says he has not. The guard then leaves the tavern. The man then tells Sonja it's safe. She climbs out from under the table and sits across from him. He asks for her name. She says Sonja, and the man introduces himself as Conan.
In the morning, Sonja and Conan walk toward the coast to find Anissia, but she isn't anywhere to be found. Conan asks Sonja what she intends to do. Sonja tells Conan that she has no family or home left, so she intends to find the man who took them from her - Lord Luthan - and make him suffer as she has. Conan tells Sonja that Luthan works for King Bazrat in Turan to the east. Sonja tells Conan that is where she is headed then. Conan tells her he too is headed in that general direction, so they might as well travel together. Sonja declines his offer and begins heading East.
Queen Gedren meets with Vammatar in her chambers. She tells Vammatar that she wants Vammatar to conjure up some way for Gedren to remain beautiful forever. She has no interest in aging or losing her looks like the queen before her. Turan is a land that requires a queen of immense beauty and she intends that to be her for the foreseeable future. Vammatar tells Gedren that she begin work on it immediately.
In a village, Sonja is caught trying to steal food from a market. She pleads with the shopkeep to let her work off her debt, telling him that she is a blacksmith. He scoffs and tells her that the he will send for guards from the city to take her into custody where her hand will be chopped clean off. Conan then appears and asks the shopkeep what's going on. He tells Conan that he caught a thief. Conan gives Sonja a look and tells the shopkeep that he will be more than happy to repay him for whatever it is that she took. The shopkeep turns down the offer, saying that he would rather see her taken into custody to suffer to teach her a lesson about thievery. Conan throws the shopkeep a gold coin and tells him that should cover it. He tells Sonja to go ahead and start walking away, but the shopkeep interjects. Conan urges the shopkeep to be happy to be paid for his goods and that if he takes another step toward the woman, he will make him suffer. The shopkeep stands down and looks at the coin Conan tossed him. Realizing it is fake, he starts screaming after them. Conan urges Sonja that she should hurry and offers to let her ride on his horse. Sonja begrudgingly accepts. She tells Conan that she has never stolen anything before. Conan says it shows and offers to show her the ropes. Sonja insists that she is not a thief at heart and does not want to get into the habit of it.
When they get to the next village, Conan senses that his horse is starting to have trouble carrying the weight of two people. Conan asks Sonja to talk to a farmer to ask for directions to Turan. She says she thought he knew the way, but he tells to just do it. While Sonja is talking to the farmer, Conan steals a horse. As Conan makes his getaway with the horse, Sonja quickly makes a run for it. Once they are clear of the farm, Conan gives the horse to Sonja. Sonja thanks Conan, even if she disagrees with his methods of acquiring the horse. Sonja asks Conan what he needs to do near Turan, and Conan simply says he has to visit someone.
As Conan and Sonja continue their journey, Conan realizes that they are traveling through Cimmeria. Sonja hasn't heard of it before, and Conan tells her that the Cimmerians were a hunter gatherer people before they were completely wiped out in the not too distant past. They come across the ruins of a village and Conan dismounts his horse. Conan walks to the ruins of a smithy and takes a seat. Sonja follows him and asks what the ruins are. Conan says that it is the village he was born in. Sonja asks what happened. Conan tells her that his village was destroyed and his entire people were slaughtered by a warlord. He was just a boy at the time and was placed into slavery. Sensing a connection to Conan, Sonja kisses Conan. He kisses her back, and they spend the evening making love by the camp fire.
Queen Gedren asks Vammatar if she has come up with any kind of spell or remedy for immortal beauty. Vammatar says it would require Gedren to bathe in the blood of the most beautiful women in all the land. Gedren asks who that would be, and Vammatar cryptically says that the bride draws near. Gedren asks Vammatar to cease her riddles and give her the necessary information. Vammatar says that the young woman who challenged Gedren for the most beautiful bride has come to the city to get her revenge. Vammatar warns Gedren that the woman is dangerous. Gedren laughs at the warning, insisting that she is no match for the mightiest soldier in the Turan army. Vammatar prepares to leave the chamber. Gedren asks where she is going. Vammatar says that she hasn't lived for a millennia by sticking around when danger is near. Vammatar collects her crystal ball and vanishes in a cloud of purple smoke.
In the morning, Conan awakes to find Sonja getting his father's blacksmith workshop back into shape. He asks what she thinks she is doing, and she says that she was her father's apprentice before his death and that she will need new weapons if she is going to get her revenge against Luthan. She takes the sword she stole from Blanton's guard and begins re-forging it. While she is working on that, Conan tells her that he is going to go hunting so that they do not starve. After she is done with the sword, Sonja begins attaching chainmail to her red leather bikini. Conan ventures into the mountains nearby as snow begins to fall. He senses some tracks and begins following them with his sword in hand. Conan sniffs the air and then howls like a wolf. A wolf then comes out of some brush and charges toward Conan, ready to attack. Conan returns to the village ruins with a dead wolf over his shoulders and two dead rabbits in his hand. Sonja is impressed by his haul. While Sonja cooks a rabbit stew, Conan skins the wolf and hands her the pelt. He tells her that the season is turning toward the cold and she could use some warm furs to wear. Sonja thanks him and wraps the fur around herself.
When they get to the outer gates of Turan, Conan tells Sonja that this is where he gets off the caravan. Sonja thanks Conan for his help, and Conan rides away from Turan southbound. Sonja enters the city and rides toward the palace. She announces herself at the palace, saying she's there to see Lord Luthan. The guards are confused, but go to get him nonetheless. Luthan is surprised to see Sonja there. He asks her if she missed his touch. Sonja spits at the ground and says she's there for revenge. Luthan laughs and asks if she really thinks it was his idea. He tells her he was simply acting on behalf of the queen herself. Sonja asks why the queen would ever want to harm her, and Luthan says he doesn't care. It's his job to follow the commands of the king and queen of Turan, plain and simple. Guards come up behind Sonja and grab her. Luthan tells them to bring her into the palace.
Queen Gedren and King Bazrat are alerted by a commotion and exit their chambers. They find some guards holding Sonja on her knees while Luthan taunts her for being foolish enough to come here. Gedren is surprisingly excited to see Sonja before her since she needs her blood. Bazrat demands to know what is going on, but Gedren tells him not to worry about it. Gedren then orders Luthan to have Sonja brought to her bath chamber.
The guards have tied Sonja up above the queen's bathing pool from her feet. As Queen Gedren prepares to slit Sonja's throat to bleed her out, there is a loud commotion just outside her bathing chamber. Gedren calls out for the guards, but nobody answers. Gedren readies a scythe to slice Sonja with, when suddenly the doors burst open and Conan throws a blade that cuts Sonya down. Conan tosses Sonja her sword. Luthan then enters the bathing chamber and attacks Conan. Queen Gedren runs away from Sonja and begins climbing the staircase to the top of the palace's tower. Sonja chases after her.
Meanwhile, a few more guards enter the bathing chamber. Conan comments that it is finally a fair fight. He pulls out two swords, fighting several guards at once. Conan slays one guard after another, their bodies making a pile inside the bathing pool, filling it up with their blood. Conan then sets his sights on Luthan. Luthan stabs Conan in the side with a short sword. Conan pulls the blade out of his side and stabs Luthan in the throat with it. Luthan falls down on top of the other bodies in the bathing pool. Sonja has chased Queen Gedren all the way up to the top of the tower. Sonja asks the queen why she did all of this. Queen Gedren tells Sonja that she refused to be upstaged on her own wedding day by some commoner like Sonja. Queen Gedren pulls out a dagger and braces herself at the edge of the tower. A brick comes loose, causing Gedren to lose her footing, sending her falling to her death several stories below. Sonja walks to the edge and looks down at Gedren's body down below.
Sonja walks down the stair case to find Conan. She thanks him for coming back to help her, and asks him why he didn't go visit the person he said he was. Conan reveals that he is on his own quest for revenge. He's already killed most of the men responsible for the death of his village, but there are still left to find. He tells her that his vengeance can be had tomorrow or even the next day. They begin walking out of the palace together when they are stopped by King Bazrat and a group of guards. Sonja and Conan give each other a look. They then charge at the guards, blades drawn.
Post-Credits: Sonja and Conan sit upon the thrones of the King and Queen, exhausted and covered in blood. At their feet, the slaughtered bodies King Bazrat and his guards litter the ground.
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