The Saints
Genre: Superhero/Action/Adventure
Director: Olivia Wilde
Writers: Jacob Jones & Chad Taylor
Cast: Meg Donnelly, Madeleine Madden, Maya Hawke, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jason Bateman, Maude Apatow
Plot: Alto City, USA. A bustling city built for the future...
Alto City University student Cynthia (Meg Donnelly) waits by a traffic stop when she is pushed aside by academic rival Ashley (Maude Apatow). Annoyed, Cynthia tells Ashley to watch where she’s going, only for Ashley to smirk, stating that straight A students get dibs before skipping off. Cynthia grumbles to herself as she crosses the street.
At the Alto City University track, cross country racer Leela (Madeleine Madden) runs a lap across her family’s track. She checks her time and frowns, unimpressed. 10.5 doesn’t get you a medal in the Olympics. Before she can start another lap, her friend Taylor (Maya Hawke) asks if she can practice something on her. Leela acquiesces, only to barely be lifted off her feet. Taylor pouts at not being strong only for Leela to assure her that she’ll get there with some time and patience. Taylor then invites her to her house later tonight for a showcase that her father, famed anthropologist Dr. Columbus (Jason Bateman) has organized. Leela accepts the offer.
In class, Cynthia looks on her phone that an ACU professor has found proof that the Scarlet Knight (Sacha Baron Cohen), once thought to be an Alzaban myth, is real only to be called on by her teacher for being on her phone before delivering the news of an exam they’re going to take. Cynthia stares at the piece of paper and picks up her pencil, closing her eyes and hoping for the best.
Two hours later, Cynthia runs off to a corner in the locker room to contemplate her potential failure when Ashley comes up to her to gloat. This time however, Cynthia gets the last laugh when she causes Ashley to trip over herself. She snickers as a flustered Ashley threatens to tell the school principal. Once Ashley is gone, Cynthia picks up her backpack and gets out her journal. She writes about what just happened before asking what the point of being a functioning member of society is if all you do is shut people out?
At Taylor’s house, Taylor anxiously waits for Leela when she gets a phone call. Unfortunately, Leela cannot make it. Her parents are going out and she’s been tasked with watching their son. Dejected, Taylor thanks her for explaining and hangs up. Taylor heads outside to see her father, who has become interested in a large meteor floating in the sky. Transfixed, Taylor asks her father if she can stay outside for a bit to check its trajectory, Columbus says she can, but to not take too long.
Leela and Cynthia also look outside, intrigued by the meteor’s trajectory. Inside Taylor’s house, Dr. Columbus gives a lecture regarding the myth of Mongolia’s most dangerous warrior, The Scarlett Knight. Before he can go far, the room shakes violently upon hearing a loud crashing noise.
Meanwhile, in the deserts of Alzaba:
A hand pops out from the sand, a disheveled man climbs up from the ground and begins to wander around. After traveling several miles, he comes across a small village. The man looks around, baffled by the phones, vehicles and houses that surround him. Overwhelmed, the man runs to an old, condemned house and stumbles into the bathroom. He stares at the mirror, asking what happened to his home.
Dr. Columbus checks to see if everyone is alright when he realizes his daughter Taylor is still outside. He rushes to the backyard where he spots Taylor, her telescope watch shattered as she lies unconscious.
Later that evening, Taylor wakes up in a hospital. The doctor tells her that the blast from the meteor knocked her out for a few hours but that it doesn’t seem to have hurt her. Still, the doctor recommends staying for the night in case there are lingering symptoms. The next morning, Taylor is free to go home. Taylor shakes the doctor’s hand, only to lift him off of his feet.
Taylor gets a call from Leela, telling her to come visit the track ASAP. When Taylor arrives, Leela looks freaked out as she hands Taylor her phone and instructs her to throw it as far as she can. Taylor shrugs but follows the instructions, throwing Leela’s phone the entire distance of the football field. Leela runs away, catches the phone before it falls, and returns to Taylor in a matter of seconds. They both look at each other astonished, Taylor at Leela’s speed and Leela at Taylor’s strength. The two hear some commotion going on in a dorm not far from them. Inside, Cynthia is loudly waking up a nightmare of herself being betrayed by someone. When her R.A. goes to check on her, Cynthia screams, causing a flash of light to knock the R.A. to the floor. Taylor and Leela see this happen and rush to assist them. Cynthia says she doesn’t feel too well and wonders if it had to do with the meteor the night before. Leela says that she and Taylor are feeling similar after effects and Taylor suggests they go see the smartest man she knows. They help Cynthia up and introduce themselves to her.
That afternoon, Dr. Columbus examines the three girls in his laboratory and researches yesterday’s meteor, stunned by a discovery. He tells the girls that last night’s meteor was the first of its kind to hit Earth in over 100,000 years. It’s name is “Potestas Aeterna”, the meteor of everlasting power. Legend has it that the meteor, and others like it, have the power to bring myths back to life and give any human being who was outside during its impact super powers.
Leela is excited, finally getting an opportunity to be an actual superhero, but Taylor and Cynthia have their reservations. Can these powers be contained? Dr. Columbus says that as of now, he cannot confirm it. Until he knows for sure, he instructs the girls to continue living life as normally as possible.
The next day, the girls try to make the best of their newfound powers. While Leela’s speed makes her the talk of her cross country team and Taylor catches the eye of weightlifters, Cynthia struggles to keep her powers in check. This culminates when she comes across Ashley boasting about her A+ on their prior test. Cynthia tells her to leave her alone, only for Ashley to rub it in her face some more. Cynthia shoves her aside and walks off, angering Ashley.
Ashley follows Cynthia, attempting to get her to talk. Eventually, Ashley snaps and grabs Cynthia's right shoulder, causing her to create a force shield out of nowhere, slamming Ashley back first onto a wall. Shaken, Cynthia runs off, leaving Ashley on the floor, stunned.
Back in Alzaba:
The mysterious man is now at one of Alzaba main hubs when he spots a car approaching him. Horrified, he grabs his large sword and slashes the car in half, killing the driver in the process. A group of citizens look on in horror only for the man to run off. Hiding by an alleyway, the man takes a look to his left and finds he is nearby a building. He enters, baffled to find so many computers and phones about. A librarian asks if he needs assistance. He tells her that he doesn’t and walks up to the nearest computer. He stares at the keyboard, then at the computer screen before tapping his fingers on the keyboard. It doesn’t work. The man keeps trying, but he can’t get past the log-in screen. Furious, the man picks up the keyboard and smashes it on the computer, destroying both with his ungodly strength.
With everyone in the library horrified, the man gets on top of the table, declaring himself to be The Scarlett Knight (Dave Bautista), the mighty Alzaban warrior. He demands to know where he has been transported to. A nervous librarian tells him that it’s the year 2022 before noting that the legend is true. He mentions a professor named Dr. Columbus. Baffled, The Scarlett Knight requests contact with him.
Ashley and Cynthia sit inside the dean’s office, Ashley exclaiming that Cynthia has super powers and that she’s a danger to society, citing their prior interaction. The dean is unconvinced, and ultimately lets Cynthia go free. Ashley storms off in a huff, leaving Cynthia to wonder her plight.
That afternoon, outside a cafe, Cynthia vents her frustrations on the whole situation in her journal when a group of jocks peer over her writing and mock her ‘emo dribble', chipping away at her bit by bit until finally, Cynthia snaps, launching another force shield and shooting laser beams at her bullies. Seeing this, Leela and Taylor rush in to aid Cynthia until the jocks flee. Leela picks up the journal, only for an upset Cynthia to snatch it, saying that she didn’t need their help.
Leela and Taylor catch up to Cynthia in an attempt to get to know her better. Cynthia tells the two to buzz off. Leela closes her eyes, her mind telling her that Cynthia is hiding something. Leela tries to ask again but to no avail. Taylor takes a different approach, sitting by Cynthia and assuring her that they'll be alright. Especially if they work together.
Cynthia flatly states that she doesn’t do teams. Leela says that today could change that and proposes that the three meet here tomorrow so they know for sure. Despite her hesitation, Cynthia accepts the offer. Overjoyed, Taylor says that their team name should be ‘The Saints’, because they could stand for all that's good in the world. Leela and Cynthia agree, thus officially naming the trio.
That evening, Ashley attempts to uncover the mystery of Cynthia’s newfound powers to no avail. Frustrated, she lies on her bed and looks at the shelf of trophies and certificates on her wall. This gives her a newfound sense of confidence and she returns to work, typing out multiple phrases before she finds the phrase “Potestas Aeterna”. Here, she learns of its power and hatches a devious plan.
The next morning, Cynthia, Leela and Taylor all stand by the cafe. Cynthia looks around, bored out of her mind. She’s about to leave when Leela spots someone cackling away. The Saints rush up to the scene, Cynthia in disbelief when she sees Ashley dressed like a school teacher. Ashley calls herself ‘Straight A’, the smartest villain of Alto City. By luring The Saints towards her, she can now show them her master plan. Being smarter than them!
Unfortunately for Ashley, Cynthia, thanks to her super vision, finds a group of low-level crooks sneaking away from a local bank. The Saints assemble, flocking up to the thieves and promptly curbstomp them in a battle, ending with Taylor hurling the thieves towards a skyscraper. Angered, Ashley demands that The Saints pay attention. Leela tells Ashley that she needs to do a lot more to be a villain. The Saints walk off, leaving Ashley to stew in her own anger.
Inside the Columbus household, Dr. Columbus is busy working on a study when his phone begins to ring. He picks it up, the call coming from The Scarlett Knight, or rather, The Scarlett Knight holding a horrified man’s hand while shouting at the phone screen. He demands to know how Dr. Columbus managed to get a hold of these devices. Despite being unnerved, Dr. Columbus explains that many centuries have passed and that the world has changed. The Scarlett Knight refuses to believe it, claiming that humanity is misguided and needs a reminder of its primal instincts. He ‘demonstrates’ by repeatedly stabbing the phone and man’s hand with the sword.
Alarmed, Dr. Columbus rushes out of the laboratory and picks up another phone, urgently telling Taylor to come to the house at once. The Saints rush into Dr. Columbus’s laboratory, where he reveals that The Scarlett Knight has risen and may be planning something. As soon as he says that, the lights go off and on. Dr. Columbus admits to not being sure what powers the Knight has, but that they make him dangerous. Leela steps forward, proclaiming that The Saints can defeat him.
Leela and Taylor head off, leaving Cynthia and Dr. Columbus inside the laboratory. Seeing the conflicted expression on her face, Dr. Columbus asks Cynthia what’s wrong. Cynthia asks Dr. Columbus why she had to be roped into this. Dr. Columbus suggests that it may be fate that played the role. Cynthia isn’t sure, fearing that it’s further punishment for all that she’s done. Dr. Columbus tries to ask what happened only for Cynthia to stop him, claiming that she’s said too much.
Ashley paces back and forth, desperately asking herself how Cynthia and her friends could be so powerful when she gets an anonymous phone call. She hangs up, only for it to ring again. Irritated, Ashley answers, hearing The Scarlett Knight. He asks Ashley if she is aware of how technology works. Ashley says she does and the two have a back-and-forth conversation where Ashley delves into her hatred for Cynthia, and for The Scarlett Knight, his distate regarding technology.
After listening to the Scarlett Knight, Ashley makes a deal with him. She'll take him to the biggest source of technology in the world, Alto City. In return, she will offer him all the information he needs should anyone cross his path. Intrigued, The Scarlett Knight accepts her offer. Once their call ends, Ashley makes arrangements for The Scarlett Knight.
That evening, the amount of electronic disturbances in Alto City escalates. The next morning, during a town meeting, he sounds the alarm, claiming to have evidence regarding The Scarlett Knight's entrance to their home, only to be laughed off.
In the forests of Alto City National Park, Leela has organized a get together with Cynthia and Taylor, complete with hiking mountains and camping out. Throughout this, Cynthia seems to turn around regarding working with others, even helping Taylor tame a bear. The get-together is disrupted when Taylor gets a call from a distressed Dr. Columbus, who warns her that an attack from The Scarlett Knight is imminent, only for her phone to heat up and melt.
With this, The Saints head off in search of The Scarlett Knight. After a brief look around Alto City, Cynthia finds The Scarlett Knight standing about, slashing phones, watches and other devices with his sword. Cynthia debates whether or not to tell Taylor or Leela only to be spotted by The Scarlett Knight. With little alternative, Cynthia elects to fight.
Despite an initial flurry by Cynthia, she immediately finds herself outgunned by The Scarlett Knight, who, thanks to Ashley, understands all her powers. Despite this, Cynthia powers forward, telling The Scarlett Knight that he won't win. The knight cackles, swinging his sword and aiming right at the stomach. Cynthia dodges but her right arm clips the tip of his blade and she lets out a pained cry.
Taylor and Leela rush in, The Scarlett Knight standing triumphantly over Cynthia. In his words, a demonstration of what human order should be. He makes short work of them as well, standing on top of the trio and declaring himself the conqueror of Alto City. His next stop? The Alto City power grid. Then? The world.
Cynthia wakes up, realizing what happened. Leela and Taylor call out Cynthia for leaving them the way she did, only for Cynthia to explain her case. Taylor goes on the aggressive, mentioning how from day one, Cynthia has been against being in this group. The argument escalates until finally Taylor calls Cynthia a bitch. Cynthia snaps, yelling at Taylor that she doesn't know her, unintentionally creating a blast that sends Taylor hurtling towards a building. Leela rushes towards Taylor while a horrified Cynthia sees what she's done. When Leela tries to talk to Cynthia, she runs off, hiding her face in shame.
Around Alto City, The Scarlett Knight’s effect on technology is realized as multiple phones, clocks, appliances and even cars stop working correctly, all the while cracks are on the ground. The Scarlett Knight is frightened for a moment when the police track him down, putting down his sword. When he finds one officer trying to handcuff him, he throws him through the car windows.
The police swarm The Scarlett Knight for a moment only to be scared off when he snstches and destroys a walkie talkie. Before they can flee in the car, The Scarlett Knight tips the car over before sitting down, singing an old Mongolian folk song. The song hypnotizes the officers, their combined efforts destroying the car, now soldiers for his cause
Dr. Columbus hears a knocking sound and opens the door to find a tear-stricken Cynthia demanding that he make an antidote for her superpowers, storming towards his laboratory. Leela, Taylor and Dr. Columbus try to catch up to Cynthia, Leela explaining what happened. The three find Cynthia at the farthest right corner in the laboratory, softly crying. Leela tries to approach her, only for Cynthia to tell her to stay back. She doesn’t deserve to be with them. Dr. Columbus takes one look at Cynthia and recognizes she’s been hurting for a long time.
It’s there Cynthia finally breaks, long, pained sobs echoing out as Taylor and Leela sit by Cynthia. She tells them that they don't know what it's like to have no one by your side. Mom didn't care, daddy only cared about drinking, the kids at school? People she still has nightmares over to this day. It looked as if she'd finally start life anew when she got to college, but no matter what, she couldn't fit in with the others. So she stopped trying. Cynthia didn't choose this life, all she wanted was to be normal, and now she never will.
Taken aback by Cynthia's confession, Taylor expresses remorse, apologizing for her part in the fight. Leela speaks up, saying that the idea of normality is subjective. What one thinks is normal may be odd to someone else. The truth is, we're all human. We all have a story to tell and maybe one day, we can find a happy ending.
"But how?" Cynthia asks. Leela and Taylor offer to support Cynthia as much as possible, even helping her seek therapy. With tears in her eyes, Cynthia thanks them and the three embrace. The heartfelt moment is interrupted when they hear an explosion coming from outside. Cynthia looks outside and finds The Scarlett Knight on the pathway to the power grid. Leela orders the others to move out. If they hurry, they can stop The Scarlett Knight from causing any more havoc.
The Saints head outside, shocked to see that Alto City has been absolutely ravaged by The Scarlett Knight. Leela tells the three to split up and search for clues only for someone to tell them not to bother. The Saints turn around to see a smug Ashley standing by. She tells The Saints that The Scarlett Knight is almost at the power grid and that soon Alto City will be at his mercy. When asked how she knows, Ashley proudly admits to bringing The Scarlett Knight here, considering it karma for their actions.
This confession rewards Ashley with a laser straight to the face by Cynthia and a bear hug from Taylor. Leela demands directions to Alto City Power Grid, Ashley refusing to budge until Leela threatens to get officials involved. Her reputation at stake, Ashley says that it's several blocks to the north. With that, The Saints head off, leaving Ashley to question her fate.
The Scarlett Knight finally arrives at the power grid, demanding that a security guard give him the passcode to enter, only to smash the door open after the guard refuses. He bullrushes his way towards the main control room where he lays waste to anyone who dares challenge him. He picks up an axe, about to stab the control panel and cause a short circuit.
Before The Scarlett Knight can do so, he is greeted by the presence of The Saints. Intrigued by a 'round 2', the Knight gets out his sword and challenges them to a duel. Leela goes first, running circles around The Scarlett Knight. Taylor then takes the sword from him and bends it into an arch. The knight tries to save his sword but Cynthia shields Taylor from an attack.
The fight soon spills out of the main control room into the rest of the area, neither side able to put away the other. The Scarlett Knight throws all three aside, slamming them towards the wall. He storms up to them, asking when they will learn. Brute force and human instinct is superior compared to technological advances. Now all of Alto City will know this.
For a moment, all hope seems lost, until Cynthia comes up with an idea. She asks everyone in the room to give them some phones, claiming to have a plan. Inside the control room, The Scarlett Knight is poised to strike when he hears a snapshot. He turns around, blinded by flashing phone lights. The knight flees the room, only to spot Cynthia watching a video. She hands him some earplugs, shoving them in his ears. He is then stunned by a loud noise.
The knight slams the phone onto the floor and tries to escape, only for Taylor and Leela to block the door, bombarding him with Taylor Swift songs. Panicked, The Scarlett Knight begs for them to stop, surrendering to their will. The Saints come together, Cynthia telling him that he may be powerful, but he is also tired and old. Cynthia says that she used to fear the future herself, but thanks to Leela and Taylor, she now sees a path forward. She hopes that he'll realize this in the afterlife.
As the three heroines prepare a final attack, The Scarlett Knight lays down his sword, admitting that he was not meant to rule the modern world before a huge blast causes a massive explosion, killing The Scarlett Knight in the process. The Saints look around, noting the immense damage caused. Those who survived, however, do not care. The city has been saved. When asked who they are, Taylor introduces themselves are The Saints. Steel Dragon, Velocity and their leader, Fleur-de-Lis.
During the next few days, The Saints help Alto City rebuild its infrastructure, returning it to its former state. At the end of the week, a ceremony is held at city hall where the mayor deems The Saints heroes of Alto City and praises them for all they've done. That evening, the girls are inside Dr. Columbus's house, laughing at the TV screen when Dr. Columbus comes in, asking if anyone wants popcorn.
As Dr. Columbus prepares the popcorn, he tells them girls how proud he is of us. Cynthia glances at her new friends and admits she might get used to this whole superheroing thing. Leela does have one question. If the meteor's impact is global, does that mean there are other heroes and villains out there. Dr. Columbus imagines that there are. Taylor grins, saying that no matter who they are, they can't compare to The Saints. Leela and Cynthia toast to that and they resume watching their show.
Post Credits Scene: Ashley stares out the window in a state of fear. She puts on a coat and heads out for what may be her final walk as a free woman. She looks around the area until she comes across a suspicious looking person wearing red, white and blue. Ashley asks them what they're doing out in the wild only for them to take Ashley by the abdomen and carried to a car trunk. He slams the trunk with Ashley in it and picks up a walkie talkie.
"Madame Claire, consider subject E=MC2 liberated."
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