Monday, July 4, 2022

Now Showing: So This Is What It Feels Like

 
So This Is What It Feels Like
Genre: Romance/Comedy/Drama
Director: Cooper Raiff
Writer: Sammy-Jo Ellis
Cast: Cooper Raiff, Awkwafina, Henry Golding, Virginia Madsen, Himesh Patel, Rob Delaney, Bill Murray, Bill Hader, John David Washington

Plot: "You should go out there and meet a girl Bill." If only Valerie Denbro (Virginia Madsen) understood not only how much her son Bill (Cooper Raiff) agreed, but how he thought he'd already met her; Emilia Yan (Awkwafina). Emilia was, she just hit different. Comfortably witty with an enchanting charm and banter that felt almost exclusive to Bill. They'd met at work, a small film production company titled Sunflower 44. They hit off quickly, some rumblings stirring around the office, mostly hushed by Emilia insisting she wasn't looking to date currently. For Bill, this was somewhat a setback but not a rejection.

Valerie continued to nudge her son for any information but he remained tight lipped, bothering his mother somewhat at the distance it created, only for Bill to counteract this with his lulling dry humour. As their evening comes to an end, the mother and son share an awkward embrace as Valerie reminds Bill that she loves him, and you know, to try not die alone. Bill gives a nose exhaling laugh to himself before heading into the night to his next destination; The Sunflower 44 Christmas Party.

Bill is beyond nervous as he enters, quickly met by an already tipsy Emilia who throws her arms around Bill, offering a tight embrace that Bill spins her around in, the anxiety really settling in now. As Emilia pulls away, she and Bill share a glance and draw close together until he enters; Henry Parker (Henry Golding). Devilishly charming and handsome as all hell, he was immediately disarming and one of the heads of Sunflower 44. Henry creates a space that ruins the moment that could've been shared between Bill and Emilia, leaving Bill frustrated. A frustration that soon turns to disconnect as he sees Henry slip his hand around Emilia's waist. Bill's heart sinks before a seething lingers when Henry looks to Bill and offers a smirk and a wink; "Let's all have a good time tonight shall we?"

Tick, tock, tick tock. The talking around Bill feels muffled as only one thing raced around his head; Emilia was dating Henry, and Henry was an asshole, so therefore Emilia could and should do better. Bill would be better. At least he thought so. What made events so painful was that Emilia was still so close to Bill. She'd spend most of the day with him, Bill powering through the hurt of missing out on the girl because he still wanted to make her laugh, see her smile...be happy. Henry was the worse. Chisel jawed, alluring eyed, wonderful smelling bastard. Bill looked for support without actually saying whats up but found his options limited to the career focused and dry witted Ravi Khan (Himesh Patel), who was also somehow Bill's best friend, as well as self proclaimed "cool dad", Roy Frankel (Rob Delaney). After dead end conversations that saw an eye rolling collision of snark and disconnected, non existent inside jokes. Bill finds the best therapy to be softly banging his head on the bathroom wall, that is until Henry enters. Bill tries playing it cool until Henry says a something that truly hits different; "I know you liked her mate but that's the dating game. You snooze, you lose. Though once I get her to open up I'm sure there won't be much snoozing." Henry exits with a dig to the arm and a wink, leaving Bill fuming to the point his fist clenches and he comes barging out of the bathroom only to bump into Sunflower 44 head honcho Sonny Thor (Bill Murray)! The two get up with Bill truly flustered as Sonny towers over him before clearing his throat; "Bill! Just the kid I wanted to see!"

Sonny grabs him by the shoulder and the two walk with a long shot through the party, Sonny is talking but the words are muffled, Bill has zoned out, he comes back to reality, "So there I was, a stoned twenty something who just had the clearest thought of his life; I wanna make movies." Bill listens on with a mix of emotions that mostly consists of confusion as Sonny Thor extends a rant that compares many beats of his own life and Bill's, some actually lining up. Sonny finally arrives his point and lets Bill know he's sending him on an assignment to Hollywood to meet movie star Malcom Burke (John David Washington) to secure a deal that would see Burke join The Sunflower 44 family. Bill is elated at the opportunity until the follow up; "You'll be going with Emilia. You two just work so damn well together."

And so it was. Bill and Emilia in Hollywood, little moments that caused commotion with Bill's emotions. Emilia seemed to be acting different to, not distant, but almost trying to hold back how close she let Bill get. The x factor in all of this was just the spark they had. Bill looked through blinding lights, starry nights and little delights to know he wanted Emilia and denying how he felt created an unbearable weight. Bill and Emilia meet with Malcom Burke, finding a truly charming and sincere actor wrapped in all designer clothes with a toothpick hanging from his mouth. Even Malcom picks it up and teases the two, causing Emilia to blush when Malcom straight asks if she was seeing anybody; "No, not really." Bill stared, mouth open as he asked about Henry. A confused Emilia says it was just a couple dates. With a grin across his face Malcom signs the contract, stating how he looked forward to seeing the two of them a little more often. A hum hangs as Bill and Emilia sit in the back of a company car, Bill trying to think of something to say that could break the silence when Emilia, still looking away, grabs his hand; "I care about you so much Bill. You don't even know. It's just that I feel lost, like I'm not even here." The hum continues as Emilia turns, her eyes welling. Bill softly smiles as a little part of his heart crumbles, a simple thought he wished he had said out loud; "Let me be the one to find you. I’m right here."

Back home. Wake up. Go to work. Anxiously be around Emilia. Go home. Scream in to a pillow. Sleep. Repeat. What a long month it had been since Emilia opened up about her and Bill's feelings were closer than he had ever thought. But he couldn't offer something, anything to let her know, he just thought she was special. Just so fucking special. Bill sits on the other side of a desk from Emilia, the two peering up to share an awkward glance or smile. As the tension lingered, Henry makes his way over, telling Bill to beat it before having a very pointed conversation with Emilia about how things didn't work out. Ravi Khan isn't to keen on the tone Henry takes up and tries to intervene, only to be shoved with some force to the ground! Bill leaps up and a wide eyed Emilia shakes her head and tries getting between, as Bill looks to defend his friend. However, Emilia is thrown to a side by Henry who tackles Bill to the floor with the two in a back and forth until Henry punches Bill in the back of the head, disorientating him before punching him to a bloody mess. Sonny Thor bursts out of his office and boots Henry off Bill before booting Henry into the water dispenser, leaving him wet and reeling. Bill is taken to the hospital by Roy Frankel in his camper van where he gushes about his family, the bruised and battered Bill not exactly receptive. As Bill sits alone in the hospital, he receives a text from Emilia; "I hope your okay. I hope we can talk soon. Coffee on me?" Bill stares, exhausted as the realisation of how lost he was set in. He looks up to see his mother who runs over and hugs him tight! As Valerie Denbro makes sure her son is okay, he can't help but be distracted by the figure that appears over his mother's shoulder; "Spencer?"

Bill and Spencer Denbro (Bill Hader) hadn't talked for a while. A tension lingered. But Bill looked at Spencer and couldn't help but smile, especially after his mother told him Bill drove eight hours none stop to make sure he was okay. Spencer proceeds to slap Bill on the back of the head before offering up a monologue on the pluses and pitfalls of love, from his perspective as a divorced man. Bill was nervous as the story began as a bitterness did linger but when Spencer got to the thick of things, it made knowing how you felt and accepting it seem blissfully easy. Bill hugs his brother who reluctantly agrees to the embrace before telling Bill to go get the girl


Bill starts at the Sunflower 44 studio where Ravi is happy to see him, a strange sight for Bill. Bill asks if he'd seen Emilia to which Frankel jumps in and says last he saw she was with Sonny. Bill bursts into Sonny's office to find him with Malcom Burke who offers a grin; "Your looking for that girl, huh?" Bill becomes introverted as Sonny asks Malcom for a moment outside with Bill. Sonny looks at Bill and rolls his eyes hard; "I'm done with the will they want they, let's go get this girl."

Rain is hammering down as Emilia stands with reflection on her face and a yellow umbrella in hand when she hears a swerve and finds Bill fumbling out of Sonny's car, trying to string together his feelings for her. Emilia goes through a range of emotions before relaxing into a smile as he stands in front of her, soaked and with his heart on his sleeve; "I just...I just think your wonderful" Emilia kisses Bill, pulling away to find him blushing before the two embrace again, a delicate and tender acceptance finally found.

A few weeks later, Bill and Emilia get ready for another trip to Hollywood, as per a personal invite from Malcom Burke. Sonny smiles as he stands by Bill, happy to see Bill so happy. Before Bill can respond, he is beckoned by Emilia's warmth. Bill smiles, thankful; "So this is what it feels like."


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