Welcome to Comic Book Guy—the definitive breakdown of Hollywood’s latest attempts to cash in on our beloved comic book lore, as expertly judged by yours truly, a certified expert in caped crusades and super-powered heroics. This time we are looking at Season 3's slate, which means we’re surfing the cosmic spaceways and dusting off ancient Egyptian relics. Prepare yourself for hot takes and harsh truths as we soar into this batch of blockbusters.
SILVER SURFER
Silver Surfer dares to ask: what if you gave Keanu Reeves infinite cosmic power and even less dialogue than usual? While the visuals are undeniably gorgeous and Galactus gets a proper upgrade from Rise of the Silver Surfer's giant space cloud days, the movie spends way too much time watching Norrin Radd mope across the universe like an intergalactic poetry major. Arnold Vosloo as Galactus is great until he decides Frankie Raye would make a better cosmic intern, and poor Gemma Arterton’s Shalla-Bal only exists to pine in soft focus. The whole thing feels like a setup for Marvel’s cinematic chess game, but hey, at least it’s shiny, entertaining time.
HAWKMAN
Hawkman swoops in with Taylor Kitsch brooding over ancient Egyptian flashbacks, Jessica Biel as his reincarnated soulmate, and Sean Bean doing what Sean Bean does best: dying gloriously. The plot is as subtle as a mace to the face—bad guy Hath-Set kidnaps Shiera, Hawkman gets his Nth metal glow-up, and lots of stuff explodes. To its credit, the winged hero looks fantastic in flight, and the action scenes deliver. Reincarnated love stories aren’t everyone's cup of tea, but at least this one can fly.
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