Genre: Comedy/Drama
Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Jacob Jones
Cast: Tiffany Haddish, Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, Charlotte McKinney, Trisha Paytas, Nathan Kress, Arsenio Hall
Plot: As the movie starts and the background music begins to play, the voice of Sade (Tiffany Haddish) can be heard questioning the choice of music calling it sappy and requests for a more ‘sophisticated’ song to play for the movie. When that plays, she is satisfied and proceeds with the movie.
Driving in the countryside in a blue Sedan, Sade can be seen with her trademark sunglasses and with suitcases in the trunk. In narration, Sade explains that she’d been raised by her father to be a classy individual and to only ask for the very best in life. When others put her down, you know what she did? She told them to fuck themselves with one of them corkscrews you find at an amusement park. Then when she found out that it would be impossible, she simply told them to back away and let her finish her stuff.
Growing up, her father treated her right and showed her the way of the Lord. And she did everything to ensure the Lord knew how much she loved him. And he loved her back (at least, according to her father). The problem is, the Lord never really knew how much she’d grow. As it turned out she grew so big, the Lord wanted her to explore the world and share her good nature with others (“Crazy bastard. Always making me run around doing his errands. That’s why I love him.”).
As she nears her destination, it’s learned that she decided to live in a house with several other girls (or as Sade calls them ‘ghostly bitches’) so she could try and fit in with them. She admits that it won’t be easy living without her father or the other folks in her town, but she’s willing to suck it up and try new things. Little did she know that those new things were so messed up that some guy decided to turn this into a movie.
The narration ends as she pulls up into the new house she’s decided to live in, rent paid and everything. With her suitcases in the back of the car, Sade knocks on the door and waits for someone to open it. Sade is then introduced to Trisha (Trisha Paytas), vlogger and expert on all things fashion, beauty and relationship related. Sade assumes that she can help her find a new wig because all the ones she brought had been split and the two laugh it off.
Sade comes across the next girl, a cute but shy girl named Brie (Selena Gomez) who quietly welcomes her into their home. Sade tries to get her to speak up, but another well kept woman calmly tells her that it is unlikely to happen anytime soon (Emma Watson). The woman introduces herself as Gail and the two shake on it, though Sade has an issue with how many words she’s using and asks why she can’t just keep it ten words or less. Gail shrugs and plays with Sade’s joke saying she’s a multiplier or words, but when Sade leaves to explore the rest of her house; she tells Trisha behind her back that Sade is a few bolts loose.
In awe with how beautiful and neat the house looks, Sade excitedly announces her willingness to get along with everyone in the house, the four of them all together in holy matrimony. Gail soon tells Sade that there is one more person that she hasn’t met yet. Suddenly, a car crashes onto the back of someone else’s car and walks up to the door. Sade turns around, awaiting the arrival of this last person everyone seems to dread.
The door opens and in walks in Chloe (Charlotte McKinney), complete with her denim jacket, white tank top, blue mini-skirt and black stilettos. It seems she and the other three girls are displeased to see each other, but Sade’s jaw is dropped wide open. Amazed at how attractive she looks. Chloe looks at her and asks Trisha who the new girl is and she introduces Sade to her. After asking her if the blue sedan was her car, Sade can only nod, jaw still wide open. Chloe flatly apologizes to Sade and then walks up to her room, muttering to herself that the house has ‘another bitch’ to deal with.
When Chloe leaves, Sade asks Trisha what Chloe was talking about. Trisha tells her that she was talking out of her ass and apologizes about the car. Sade tells her to fuck the car and asks her about why Chloe seems so disliked. The three can only stare at her with concern and after a few seconds, Gail tells her that she has a lot to learn in their house. But for now, Trisha says that she’ll be welcome to join them and takes a selfie with Sade.
As she enters her room (which she shares with Brie and Gail), Sade narrates that while she had enjoyed her first day, she didn’t exactly know why it was that this Chloe person was so hated. Especially with how attractive she was. Were they jealous because of that? She’d seen many ladies back in the church get jealous of someone because of how they looked even though she did nothing wrong. But for now, she would put that aside and focus on making friends with the others.
The next day as the others are having breakfast, Sade notices that Gail and Chloe are missing and goes out to look for them. As she walks up the stairs, she begins to notice classical music playing and feels her ears growing a set of balls (her words, not mine). Curious, she walks up to the room where she, Gail and Brie are and sees Gail working on a major project on her laptop listening to the music. Sade decides to come up to her and ask what’s going on, much to Gail’s annoyance. Sade apologizes and explains what had happened to get to this point.
When she hears what Sade has to say, Gail apologizes for being so hard on her and reveals her life’s work, a master thesis on how to cure seemingly incurable diseases. Sade praises her for her hard work and passion, but still wonders what she was listening to. Gail plays it for Sade and she soon falls in love with it, declaring that Gail had invented a new religion. Gail is flattered but reveals that what she was listening to was Pachabel’s Canon.
Suddenly, Sade and Gail hear shoving and shouting and peek their heads over to the kitchen where they notice Chloe and Trisha arguing loudly over how ‘slutty’ the other one is. Gail sighs, explaining that this happens almost every day. Trisha however soon snaps and jumps onto Chloe, slapping her around and beginning a catfight between the two. Gail and Sade run downstairs and attempt to break up the fight, Gail holding Trisha back and Sade holding Chloe back. Chloe tells Sade to fuck off and storms off. Trisha tries to follow her but Gail stops her from reaching the door and guides Trisha to her and Chloe’s room.
Stunned and amazed by the fight, she rambles on about how both ladies were acting like those who belong in the ghetto when she notices Brie softly crying among the chaos. She comes up to her and comforts her, saying that the two ladies were gone and promising that they’ll have some good angry sex at some point. Gail is quick to point out that Trisha is straight and joins Sade in comforting Brie. In narration, Sade explains that she had never seen two white girls act like the fools in her church before, always believing that white people acted and did things right 24/7. But that day made her realize that every race has a few people that should’ve been aborted before birth. With that said, she was still wondering what was with Chloe that made everyone mad.
That afternoon, Sade, Trisha and Gail sit down together on the couch in the living room and discuss Chloe as a person. As it turns out, Chloe has been a major bitch to everyone ever since she first came to the house and has an unstable personality fueled by alcohol and her own hubris. Nobody knows why it is, all they know is that they’ve come to accept that she is in fact, a bitch. Sade is unsure about this and pushes around the idea that she can help Chloe become a better person. Trisha laughs it off saying that ‘the skank’ is hopeless. Sade says her father taught her to look into someone and see if they can be redeemed of their sins and that in her opinion, she thinks that anyone can be forgiven of what they’ve done in the past if they knew what was really going through someone.
The door opens and in walks an intoxicated Chloe. She stumbles inside the house goes to try and make a sandwich. Sade excuses herself and proceeds to go watch her try and fail to do so. In narration, Sade states that while she watched Chloe fail in her quest to make a sandwich; she noticed two things. One: Her ass was gorgeous and Two: Deep down the girl must’ve felt horrible about herself. And it was at that moment she realized what she had to do.
That night, Sade is shown outside the house calling someone on her phone. The voice answers and Sade asks her dad (Arsenio Hall) how he’s been. The two soon discuss how Chloe is a seemingly toxic influence to the others and Sade’s plans to make her a better person. Ben suggests they do a sermon in the morning, but Sade vetoes the idea saying her ghetto side comes out during that time. (“And let me tell you daddy boy, that cracker can fight real good.”) The two keep talking till late at night when they manage to come up with a solution.
The next morning, whilst everyone is tensely eating breakfast at the kitchen. Sade decides to lighten up the mood by asking what everyone plans to do for the weekend. Trisha promises not to overdose on cocaine, Chloe’s going out clubbing, Brie just wants to stay in her room and look at the ceiling and Gail plans to continue working on her thesis. Sade tries to keep the fights to a minimum, but while lecturing Chloe about the importance of keeping calm she looks at her breasts and gets distracted.
Knocks on the door soon manage to snap her out of it and Sade runs off to see who it is. She opens the door and is ecstatic to see a person, calling everyone over to meet him. She introduces Chloe to Josh (Nathan Kress) and says that he will be her date while they go out to the club. When Chloe asks why, Sade explains that he was the only white guy she could find that was submissive, knowing that this was her kink. Chloe glares at Sade, yelling out that she’s a lesbian and storming off to her room. Josh tries to ask if it’s too late to bail, but Sade cryptically says that the Lord made whips to spank little boys who don’t follow his orders.
Later that evening, Sade waits for Chloe alongside Brie (who had been waiting to pee for an hour now) and Josh. Sade admits that around that time she had grown a bit worried about this plan, wondering if maybe this wasn’t the right way to go about it. Or rather, this was the right way to go about it, but the wrong way to set it up. Finally, Chloe comes out from the bathroom with a little black dress and high heels on. With a big smile, Josh tries to take the reluctant Chloe by the arm, who calmly tells him to not embarrass her and maybe she’ll buy him a beer. The three start to walk off when Chloe notices Sade walking with them. Sade promises to Chloe that she’ll keep her mouth shut and let the two enjoy their evening. Chloe gives an untrusting glare.
Back inside the house, Brie is shown inside her room solemnly looking at the ceiling. Gail looks at Brie and asks if she’s feeling alright. Brie nods, leading for Gail to try and go back to her thesis. Brie sighs, leading for Gail to ask if she’s sure she’s alright. Brie nods again, but just before Gail can resume she asks Gail what it’s like to be outgoing? Brie explains that all her life she’s never really gotten to know people for who they are and only from what they’ve seen and in turn it’s made her feel...like a virgin (she’s listened to a lot of Madonna).
Gail softly wonders if it’s about Sade’s attempts to make Chloe someone better and Brie admits that it’s sort of based on that, being jealous of her because she wanted to see if she could do it herself. She even made her a picture that she would share with her some day. After asking to see it, Gail sees a drawing of her and Chloe holding hands and watching the sunset together. Gail smiles, calling it beautiful and asking why she hasn’t shown it to Chloe. Brie shrugs, admitting that her nature has held her back.
Meanwhile, an impatient Sade mutters about foot cramps and orange men and asks if they’re at the club yet. Chloe snaps at Sade, saying she’s been saying that ever since they started walking and to hold her ass. Sade not only does so, but also lifts Chloe up in the process causing her to scream and demand to put her down which she does much to Sade’s chagrin and demands she make her sexy mind up. Josh manages to break up the argument by saying they’ve arrived at the club. Noticing this, Chloe gets a smirk on her face and smiles, saying that they’re finally at the one place where she feels free to be who she wants to be.
In Gail’s room, she seems ready to finish up her thesis when Trisha comes up to her, phone and everything ready to do a vlog about her ‘lamest friend’. Adamant on completing her work, she tells Trisha to back off. But Trisha does not resist and takes a selfie with her. She soon notices Gail’s laptop and reluctantly asks why she’s still working on that ‘weird fever dream’ of hers. Gail insists that it is not a fever dream and that it is years of hard work and research. After telling her to try something other than be a buzzkill, she tries to take Gail’s laptop away which leads to a brief struggle for control of the laptop which ends when Trisha accidentally spills water on the keyboard and the laptop goes dead.
Angered after mourning the loss of her hard work, Gail forces Trisha out of her room and locks the door. Concerned for her friend, Brie tries to calm her down but Gail yells at her to fuck off. Hurt by this outburst, Brie runs over to her bed and softly cries to herself. Realizing what she’s done, Gail breaks into tears herself.
Inside the club the atmosphere is electrifying and several people can be seen dancing to the beat of some real good music. Chloe and Josh are especially getting down with it. The only one who isn't is Sade who is drinking martinis and keeping an eye on Chloe and Josh. While "Shut Up And Dance" plays, she begins to notice a change in her personality. She’s more fun-loving, energetic and outgoing, almost like she’s the life of the party. The other thing Sade notices is that her body is almost ungodly when she dances and the way she swings her hips gets Sade going, almost as if the devil is urging her to be a pitbull wanting meat.
Sade says, her classy, sophisticated demeanor could take no more and like a Batman out of fucks to give decided to join Chloe and Josh in the dancing and begins to dance provocatively close to Chloe much to her shock and confusion and the amusement and bewilderment of others. It all ends when Sade admits out loud that she wants to fuck Chloe’s beautiful body and french-kisses her on the lips. This provokes a full on brawl between the two parties that Josh tries and fails miserably to break up. Eventually the two are thrown out by a bouncer.
Chloe storms back home, enraged that Sade had ruined her night. As she does so, Sade tries desperately to apologize to her but she refuses to hear it. Chloe snaps and eviscerates her with a long rant on how Sade is the most obnoxious, self-absorbed, pretentious prick she’s ever met and how she’s known about her trying to ‘fix’ her from her conversations with the others and tells her that she can’t fix something if she doesn’t know what part of her is broken. Despondent, Sade tries to tell her that she wants to help and she wants to know. Chloe looks deep into Sade’s face and sighs, telling her to go to hell.
In her thoughts, Sade realizes how badly she fucked up and that the only thing that could make it worse was if it started raining for no reason. This ends up happening much to Sade’s dismay. Chloe soon enters the house and notices that everything is in disarray. Furniture moved around, shattered glass. Brie and Trisha are having a screaming match while Gail is nowhere to be seen. Chloe expresses relief that for once she didn’t cause a shitstorm and listens in on the argument. Brie tries to stand up for Gail, saying that she’s trying to secure a future for herself. Trisha calls her a ‘ho energy drainer’ that bores everyone except crackheads and entitled introverts like herself. While Chloe takes amusement in the two squabbling, she refuses to get involved and proceeds to go to the porch to smoke a cigarette.
Sade around that time enters and sees Brie and Trisha arguing which only exasperates her bad mood and she asks for both of them to shut their face vaginas up. This causes Trisha to get up in Sade’s business and the two to get in a shouting match talking about how shit their days have been which escalates when Sade is shoved aside by Trisha. After looking up to the sky and asking the lord for forgiveness for what she’s about to do to ‘this plastic bag’, Sade charges after Trisha and a fight ensues and includes Brie. Chloe hears all the chaos ensue and after seeing Trisha beat down on Sade decides to step in and decks Trisha with a punch herself.
Sade chuckles to herself admitting that after re-watching this several times that it was the most fun she had in her life. Guess who didn’t find it so fun though? Gail, still reeling from the loss of her thesis comes out, sees the brawl and screams at everyone to shut up. This grabs everyone’s attention and Gail just goes off on everyone being disrespectful and antagonistic towards each other and meanwhile all she wants to do is achieve something with her life, something she can no longer accomplish now that her work is gone. She questions how they can all survive out in the world when they’re all acting like mad men and repeatedly says “fuck you” to all them, flipping them off and storming back into her room.
The next morning, Sade decides to call for a meeting with the other girls to calmly talk about their grievances towards each other. Gail stands up and says that last night was the worst night of her entire life. Yes, she lost he thesis, but she also snapped a good friend of hers in Brie and she lost her cool towards everyone. She wants to apologize to her and to everyone else. Trisha also admits that she got carried away in how she acted against Gail and Brie last night and that she never really got to understand what was so important about her thesis.
After Gail explains why, Trisha feels even more guilty and tears up a little, repeatedly apologizing for being such a shitty person. The two hug it out and Sade says that they can try to remake it together, but Gail decides that it’s not worth it. She’s been working on it for two years now and while it’s given her a sense of satisfaction in her life, it’s also made her distant towards the others. From now on, she’s going to try and be more interactive towards the rest of her roommates. Brie also apologizes for yelling at Trisha and says that while it was the first time in some while that she's felt alive, it was the first time she was openly ashamed of herself.
Chloe then asks to speak and is given the floor. She tells Sade that she made her feel really uncomfortable yesterday when she told everyone how she wanted to have sex with her and then kissed her. It brought back some really bad memories from her past, and hearing Sade saying she wanted to help fix her only made things worse because that took her to when she was only five and...she stops. She can’t go on. But at this point, she realizes she’s gone too far.
Holding back tears, Chloe she admits that she grew up in an abusive household. Her father was a neglectful drunk, her mother verbally abusing her, telling her that she wasn’t pretty enough like her and declaring that she would make her beautiful. It created a toxic environment where she lived. It doesn’t end there, when she was sixteen she got into a relationship with a thirty year old who only loved her for her body. Every time she was with him privately, he’d rail on and on about how he’d love to get a glimpse of her ass or go in excruciating detail the many ways he’d try to have sex with her. One night, when he was at his absolute drunkest, he tried to rape her. Thankfully she fought back and murdered him before he could get the chance. Since then though, she’s been refusing to trust anyone but herself. That’s why she loves going out to the club and getting drunk, it’s the one place where she knows she’s free to be the person she wanted to be growing up and not the person she ended up becoming.
The other four are horrified when Chloe admits to all of this, Sade even declares it a travesty on par with the time Sade caught her parents making love with each other for the first time (“That was when I realized that there was no such thing as the Stork. Lord help me, I was traumatized that day. Still haven’t got over that shit.”). Sade admits full responsibility for her actions and comes out with a confession herself, she hasn’t been as clean or as classy as the others thought of her as. She comes out as gay and reveals that she likes to fantasize herself making love to the other women. She would look at videos of girls dancing in sexual or provocative matters. For a time, she thought she was over this, but seeing Chloe and how acted and looked, it took her to those days once more. Only in this case, it was like she was seeing the real thing every day of the week.
Noting the seriousness of this confession, Trisha asks if she thinks it's okay to objectify someone like that. Sade says that it isn't, but she’s been keeping this a secret for so long now that eventually it had to come out and she apologizes to Chloe for her part of what happened last time. The others also apologize to Chloe for what they’ve done to her, which Chloe accepts and apologizes to everything she's done to them.
Before the meeting can come to an end, Brie decides there’s one more thing she needs to do and runs up to her room. When she comes down, she presents Chloe with the picture of the two of them. With happy tears flowing down from her cheeks, she hugs Brie and thanks her. For the next few days, Sade recalls that everyone had to get used to life being a little different. It was a little awkward at first, but as time passed they all started getting the hang of it. Brie grew more confident about herself and spoke out more, Gail started to take the time to speak with others, Trisha became a little more tolerant of others and how they do things and Chloe became what Sade hoped she would become. A nicer, happier and overall better person.
And Sade? Well, Sade read up on women objectification and how to treat them with respect (“It was the proudest moment of my life. Prouder than the day I got my first period.”). And with every passing day, she got better and better at respecting women.
Eventually the one month anniversary of Sade’s arrival in the house came and everyone was holding a party for her, celebrating how she had come and changed their lives for the better since arriving. Honored by this, she calls for a toast and awaits for them to listen.
In a heartfelt speech, Sade says that the last month or so had been the most exciting of her life. Every moment, every fight and every second with them had been fun and thrilling to her. Yeah, there were some rather bad moments during the stretch, but through it all she had gotten to know and love all the people inside the house (“Y’all ratchet, probably more ratchet than some of the girls back at my daddy's church. But that's why I love y’all.”). Her only wish is to keep being friends for as long as possible.
Everyone toasts to that and drinks heartily to it. Later that evening, everyone can be seen dancing to Tom Jones’s “It’s Not Unusual”. Gail dancing with Brie, Trisha vlogging about everyone’s dance moves and Sade attempting to do what Carlton Banks did but failing miserably, falling down with a smile.
Chloe sees Sade and gives her hand up. The two smile at each other for a moment before Chloe kisses Sade on the cheek, calling it a ‘form of payback’. The two laugh it off and proceed to dance with each other for the rest of the night.
Sade’s voice signs off by saying if there were some things this movie taught anyone, it’s that-
A. Not being perfect is fine, but some things are wrong no matter what.
B. Age is just a number, unless you’re in a relationship then age means everything.
And C. No matter what, deep down inside, the people you hate in your life may have some skeletons in their closet too.
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