Genre: Dark Comedy/Crime
Directors: Joel & Ethan Coen
Writer: Chad Taylor
Cast: Jason Bateman, Glenn Howerton, Steve Buscemi, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Marisa Tomei, Billie Lourd, Timothy Simons, Harvey Keitel, Bruce Campbell
Plot: In 2053, the world’s population keeps growing exponentially but for a very specific reason: nobody dies! Technological advances have led to all the world’s illnesses being solved, every aspect of life has been safety-proofed, and age expectancy has extended by fifty years. While the population control and climate change are still growing problems, the elimination of unexpected deaths has led to happiness levels at an all time high and suicide rates nearly zeroed.
Sweeney & Sons Funeral Home was founded in 1972 and has been family-run ever since. While the ownership has passed through multiple generations, it is currently in the hands of three brothers. Bill (Steve Buscemi) is the oldest and recently got a divorce from his wife of 41 years - because of and exacerbating his alcohol problem. Andy (Jason Bateman) is the most straight-laced of the three and the most business-oriented. He and his wife Sara (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are getting ready to celebrate the college graduation of their daughter Jenna (Billie Lourd). And, finally, Josiah (Glenn Howerton) has recently turned forty but is already in mid-life crisis mode. He’s always been the wild child of the group (he’s 25 years younger than Bill) but - as morbid as it sounds - the funeral home has always brought them together.
Funeral homes around the world have been closing down as funerals have become few and fare between and mainly digitized, anyways, since most social connections are found online. Andy goes through the business’s paperwork and is very stressed, causing Sara to comfort him. She tells him to take his mind off of this for a while and enjoy their daughter’s graduation.
They all travel out of town to see Jenna’s graduation. At the dinner afterwards, she introduces them to her older boyfriend, Craigory (Timothy Simons). Andy asks what Craigory does and he says that he is an aspiring electronic-country musician. Josiah whispers to Bill “he’s 40, shouldn’t he be past aspiring at this point?”. Afterwards, Sara and Andy talk about how they do not like that guy at all and that they are going to advise their daughter, as harsh as it sounds, to dump him. When Jenna comes to talk to them, they reveal her graduation present: they are taking her on a month-long space cruise. She begins crying and thanks them, she has dreamed of this since she was a kid.
Josiah sits in his hotel room, scrolling through the channels. He finally settles on an old rerun of Hitman, a show from over thirty years ago. He stares longingly into the TV before an idea sparks into his mind. He gets up from his room and rushes to Bill’s room. He knocks on the door before letting himself in. There, he is shocked to find Bill naked in his closet with a rope around his neck. Josiah rushes to his aid but Bill, only slightly embarrassed, chews him out. Josiah is confused, saying he just saved his brother from killing himself. Bill corrects him and says he was trying out autoerotic asphy- ah forget about it.
Josiah, not too interested in knowing what that is, tells Bill he knows that the business (along with the divorce) has had him depressed. Bill confirms, saying he feels like they’re letting their father down. Josiah tells him, fear not, he has an idea. They’re in the dead body business, right? But there’s been a shortage of dead bodies. Bill slaps his brother for stating the obvious, the reason they are in such a funk to begin with. Josiah tells him he knows the solution to the problem: they enter the hitman business! Bill isn’t sure if he is joking. They hire a hitman who can take out wealthy individuals, make it look like an accident and then, since they’re the only funeral home left in town, they reap the rewards. Bill stares at him blankly, prompting Josiah to comment that they are all at their wit’s end and this is a ray of hope. A dim ray of hope, but still. And it’s much better than whatever choking-jerk-off thing Bill was just doing. Bill shrugs his shoulders, as if to say “you’ve got a point”.
The next day, Josiah and Bill approach Andy about their plan. He is stunned by it and says absolutely not. They say not to think of it as killing but moreso...revitalizing the family business? He remains unconvinced and asks if they are crazy. They look at each other and determine they are not. They tell him majority rules so he’s either in or he isn’t. He puts his foot down and says that he isn’t. Andy says his goodbyes as his family leaves on their vacation the next day.
Josiah and Bill look into how to hire a hitman but it is near impossible with the current state of their society. Bill proposes that they get a lowlife who will be willing to do anything for some pay and, preferably, has experience killing. Josiah says he knows just the place.
They arrive at one of the last surviving VFWs in the States. With no wars in years, the size of the military has decreased and veterans are aging out. Bill and Josiah sit outside the joint scouting potential hitmen. They cycle through potential options before they spot the perfect choice: Black Tony (Harvey Keitel). Despite his age, he is covered in tattoos and looks like he’s seen some shit. They offer to buy his lunch and he is confused but accepts.
They lie to him and say their dad was a veteran and use this as a foot in the door for the conversation. He reveals that he was fought in Desert Storm at 18. They asked if he killed anyone and he responds “many”. Bill asks him why he’s called Black Tony and Black Tony tells him they don’t wanna know. They ask if him if ever gets the itch for killing again and he says yes, he actually has and starts ranting about how sanitized society has become. Bill and Josiah smile at each other. They tell him they have a proposal.
As Andy and Sara are loading up on their space cruise, they see Jenna arrive but she has someone with her: Craigory. Sara’s head drops into her hands as she says “no, no, no”. Andy puts on a fake smile and says they should just focus on making Jenna happy. However, once they load up and lift off and Craigory starts rambling, Andy and Sara figure out it is going to be a long trip.
Sweeney & Sons get their first hit contract: Dan (Bruce Campbell), a motorized scooter magnate, who is wanted dead by a rival from whom he stole a patent. They pass along the job to Black Tony, who reminds them that he is almost legally blind but can still function better than the nimwits in this current generation. They say he never told them he was blind. He shrugs his shoulders and promises he can get the job done. And so he does. Black Tony kills Dan in a way to make it look like an accident. Because “young” deaths are so rare, all of the local news media covers this story. Meanwhile, Bill reaches out to Dan’s family and they arrange for a funeral. When Bill and Josiah meet with the family, Josiah is stunned by the attractiveness of Dan’s widow, Trish (Marisa Tomei). She is in tears and he comforts her, while still checking her out.
The crazy business plan starts to actually work as they learn that there is actually a market for people wanting other people dead. Black Tony proves to be surprisingly efficient with his job while the two brothers can pick up the slack from there. Meanwhile, Josiah has a chance encounter with Trish and he starts trying to court her, which is successful. He obviously doesn’t reveal the true nature of her husband’s death.
From their cruise, Andy calls to check in with his brothers and learns that their plan is going along nicely. He tells them they are probably going to be investigated by the government soon but they shoot that down. When he learns that Josiah is seeing the widow of someone they killed, Andy is even more disgusted. He sticks with his promise of not going along with their plans.
Sweeney & Sons has revitalized itself and become profitable once again. Josiah and Bill have a celebratory dinner, where Josiah reminds Bill how low they were just weeks ago. Well, how low Bill was with the whole strangulation jerking thing. Bill says he didn’t know how much joy he could derive from committing heinous acts. They do a cheers to that.
Meanwhile, on the cruise, Andy and Sara are in a much different mood. They get a temporary moment of reprieve when Jenna asks if she can move in with them when they get back. Not ready for an empty next, they say of course. They go to dinner that night in a different mood. With the backdrop of space and stars, Craigory surprises everyone by getting down on one knee and proposing to Jenna. She doesn’t know what to say, which leaves her parents holding their breath with the possibility of her saying no. However, she says yes and everyone in the ballroom starts clapping and congratulating them (except for her parents, of course). Craigory apologizes to Andy for not asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage, this all came together so quickly. Jenna tells Sara that this probably means Craigory will be moving in with them as well. Sara puts on a fake smile and says “great!”.
In their cabin, Andy and Sara lament the day’s events. He wonders to himself if he is going crazy and Sara says she’s in a same boat. Andy considers telling her about what Josiah and Bill are doing on Earth but decides against it and just says that least the funeral home is doing well again.
Josiah starts debating with himself whether or not he should reveal the truth to Trish. He doesn’t feel about the new family business, but does feel guilty about Trish after his conversation with Andy. Things are progressing nicely so he doesn’t know if what he should do. He asks Bill for help and Bill is surprised by this dilemma since Josiah has always been the sleaziest of the family. He advises his brother against it, as it could easily expose their secret.
After their dinner goes nicely, Trish invites Josiah over to her place. After they have sex, Josiah and Trish share small talk but things get tense for Josiah when she starts talking about her dead husband. The guilt flushes over his face. She asks if he wants to know a secret. He says sure. She knows he was murdered. In fact, she knows he was murdered by Sweeney & Sons. Josiah doesn’t know what to say.
She tells him to relax. She reveals that Dan was an abusive asshole whose whole career was based on him stealing other people’s ideas. Josiah doesn’t know what to say. She says that she got in cahoots with one of his rivals to hire the hit on Dan and she would give him a cut of the inheritance she got from her husband’s death. And, of course, some of that would go towards a nice funeral so Dan’s family wouldn’t think anything. Josiah lets out a huge sigh of relief and gives her a big hug. He reiterates that she doesn’t care that his business kills people and she says of course not, if it weren’t for that then they never would have met. Josiah is so elated that they have sex again.
Meanwhile, Andy and his family return from their cruise. At their home, Craigory starts moving his things in. Andy, upstairs in his office, plays music to try to drown out his son-in-law’s voice. Craigory pays him a visit and asks him to turn the music down or else he can’t hear his own music. Andy does not oblige, causing Craigory to turn up his volume even louder as he makes his songs. Andy leaves his room and tells Sara he will be back later. After some driving, he pulls up in front of Sweeney & Sons.
Dramatic orchestral music plays as we follow Black Tony on a near-empty boardwalk. The more we follow him, we can see up ahead that there is a lanky street musician playing electronic country music.
The dramatic music continues as Bill, Josiah, Trish, Andy, Sara, and Jenna meet for their first dinner since the cruise. Jenna grows anxious that Craigory hasn’t shown up. Sara points out that he’s always late so he should be here any moment. Bill winks at Andy, who looks at peace with himself, as the camera starts zoom away from the table.
However, this zoom and the music is interrupted when the door to restaurant swings open and an exasperated Craigory comes burling through. He tells them they are not going to believe this: while he was making music, some homeless veteran guy tried to rob him. Craigory quickly picked up that the man was blind so he led him to the edge of the boardwalk before the man went falling down and landed on his neck. Crazy. He apologizes for being late and asks what he missed. The orchestral music picks up again as everyone in the table sits in silence.
No comments:
Post a Comment