Genre: Romantic Comedy/Sports
Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Jacob Jones
Cast: Alex Wolff, Chloe Grace Moretz, Noah Centineo, Tyler James Williams, Kiernan Shipka, Wayne Brady
Plot: The year is 2017. The San Antonio Slingers coach Jackson (Wayne Brady) is in the middle of a press conference after a brutal first round loss to the New Jersey Aces. Their first appearance in the playoffs in two decades. He makes it clear that he is proud of the work they've accomplished and feels they've turned a corner. He names Damien Becker (Noah Centenio) as a breakout performer and someone he feels can lead the team for a decade. All that's missing is a star pitcher…
June 2018:
"With the 16th overall pick, the San Antonio Slingers select...Chris Hedges, San Antonio, Texas."
A young man smiles proudly as he receives his uniform for the first time. Commentators note that he is a reach as he didn't have a particularly successful collegiate career. That said, some are hopeful as Chris (Alex Wolff) is coachable. Several days later, Coach Jackson takes a first look at him, impressed by what he says. To the shock of sports media, Chris is announced as the starter for the first game of the season. Critics bash the decision as a 'desperation heave', warning that Crow Stetson, highly touted prospect from the 80s was in the same situation with the Washington Hogs, was out of the league a season later and now works with his namesake.
March 2019:
The day of his big debut arrives, Chris sits by himself in the locker when Jay (Tyler James Williams) walks up to him, asking if he'll be alright. Chris nods, saying it's not the first time he's felt pressure. Jay pats him on the back, reminding him that he controls the flow of the game. The big moment soon arrives, Chris approaches the mound and stares at his first batter. He takes a step back, winds up and throws a beautiful curveball. In the end, Chris plays the full nine innings and wins his debut, scoring eight strikeouts in the process.
It is merely a forebringer of good fortune as a montage of the Slingers' best moments plays. The main story however is Chris and his incredible poise and a strong arm. His confidence on the mound astounds many who thought he wasn't ready and he becomes the favorite to win Rookie of the Year. One other thing becomes clear. His immense love for corn dogs. So much so that Jay playfully deems 'Corndog Chris', a nickname that sticks with him throughout the season. The Slingers' run wild and win their division in a landslide. For the final regular season game, the Slingers must defeat a dismal Seattle Serpents team to claim the no. 1 seed in the playoffs.
Inside their locker room, Coach Jackson is about to give his pregame speech when Damien arrives with a beautiful blonde-haired girl. He apologizes for being late, but he was showing his new girlfriend and new cheerleader for the Slingers around. He introduces the team to Anna Wilson (Chloe Grace Moretz). One look into her eyes instantly transfixes Chris and several other teammates, making it hard to concentrate on the speech. When the speech is over, Anna comes over to Chris and asks if he's the 'Corndog' everyone talks about. Flustered, Chris says he is and she smiles, saying that she loves his enthusiasm and wishes him luck during the game. As she skips off, Chris's heart skips a few beats. He uncharacteristically is off the mark all game long along with several other players and despite a strong showing by Damien, the Slingers lose 5-4.
Chris begins to head back to the lockers, disappointed with the loss when he sees Anna holding two corn dogs. She feels bad cause she thinks she threw the team off their game and offers a corn dog as an apology. Chris gladly accepts and the two start to talk. Anna says her ex-boyfriend got her into sports, being a former baseball player. A trained gymnast, Anna shows off some acrobatic skills that impress him. Chris admits that he doesn't have many special talents, unless you count subverting expectations as one. Suddenly, an irate Damien walks in, seeing the interaction. He takes Anna by the hand and warns Chris to not speak to 'his' girl. Anna waves goodbye, walking side by side with her boyfriend, Chris smiling sheepishly before briskly packing his things and heading home for the night. All throughout the evening and into morning practice, Chris struggles to get his mind on track. Concerned, Jackson tries to ask him if everything is alright, Chris shrugs it off saying it’s just a ‘bad night’. Jackson reminds him how important he is to the team and heads off, leaving Chris to ponder what to do next.
That evening Chris sits on his bed, checking the contacts on his phone and finding Jay's. He asks him if he knows anything about relationships and explains his problem. Being blunt, Jay explains that the chances of getting Anna are next to none unless you're in a movie. Especially if it's a self-fulfilling one. That said, he admits that Damien has the life-expectancy of milk and is amazed she started dating him to begin with. Jay tells Chris about the time Damien ribbed him by stealing his clothes. He had to scramble for new duds and stuck out like a sore thumb compared to everyone else. In the end, all Jay can tell him is to see other people but keep his eyes out just in a case.
At a local club in San Antonio, Damien is boasting to anyone within earshot about his hot girlfriend. Anna looks around, feeling uncomfortable about this and pulls him aside, asking him to tone it down. Having already had a few cold ones, Damien tells her that she deserves it, she's a queen. Anna points out that he kept Chris from talking to her leading Damien to call him a scrawny fuck who couldn't shine his shoes even if he shat on them. He storms off, accidentally bumping into one of the patrons. Fearing a confrontation, Anna convinces Damien to head home for the evening.
Back at Chris's room, he lays on his bed, taking a look at Orlando Surf second-baseman Enrique Costo and how he deceives pitchers, jotting down notes as he does. The next morning, he arrives at practice, extremely tired but with an immense amount of knowledge regarding their playoff opponent. He rambles about how the Surf shocked the world by winning the championship in '99 before Anna and Damien arrive, Damien telling him to check with the pitchers. Chris heads off, leaving the couple by themselves for a brief moment until Jay comments on how he smells like cheap alcohol and piss, drawing some chuckles from the locker room (including Anna).
The Divisional playoff game arrives and a much more refreshed Chris takes the mound, dominating hitters with his fastball and slider. Despite this, Damien's hangover causes him to have an uncharacteristically off day. The sixth inning comes, Chris looks around the stadium and finds Anna with the cheerleaders, jumping up and down and energizing the fans. Lovestruck, Chris floats a ball down the hitter's zone, causing him to give up a home run and tying the game at two apiece. Chris continues to struggle with his emotions for Anna and ends up giving up more hits, including one that gives Surf the lead. Jackson heads over to the mound, benching Chris for the night and putting up Sam Kronke in his stead.
In the dugout, Chris admires Anna from afar, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Damien. He uses the pent-up rage to crush the next ball he sees, a two-run bomb that puts the Slingers back up 4-3. The lead holds for the rest of the game and cements a trip to the Evergreen Championship, their first since the 80s. Despite this, Chris fears his crush may have crossed the line. In the locker room, Damien finds Chris and tells him he saw him making eyes with his girl and warns him again, threatening a special home run courtesy of his fists. Chris tries to explain but fails miserably. To his relief, Jay comes to his defense saying that he's not seeking anyone, telling Damien to back off.
Back at home, Chris tries to get his mind off the confrontation by watching some Netflix when his phone rings. He picks it up and finds Anna calling him. He answers, Anna asking how he feels about winning his first postseason game. Chris considers it nice, but wishes he could've stayed the entire nine innings. His face turning red, he admits he saw her with the cheerleaders and thought she looked pretty. Anna giggles, admitting that a lot of people do. It's weird to her. She then asks if he wants to hang out tomorrow, flustering him even further before saying yes, saying the movie theatre is showing the latest Tom Cruise film. The two make plans to meet at the theatre tomorrow evening.
The next day, Damien is practicing his swing when his phone goes off. It's Jay. He asks what he wants and Jay asks if he's seen social media recently. Confused, Damien takes a look online and finds that Chris's gawking at Anna made tabloid journalists ponder whether or not the two are an item. Furious, he slams the next ball all the way to the next street, causing several accidents on the road and a traffic jam. He runs inside to check the story as it follows, horrified to see so many people shipping them and questioning their legitimacy. He picks up the phone, going into Jay's messages and asking where he is.
That evening at the movie theatre, Anna and Chris stand in line getting their condiments at the lobby. Neither one being the wiser, Damien stands behind them, wearing a convincing disguise. This continues as they enter the film and watch the movie. Damien tries to remain calm, even as he watches the two enjoying the movie and their time. Once the movie finishes, the two head outside. Anna thanks Chris for the wonderful time and the two take a look at the beautiful sunset. Feeling that it’s now or never, Chris begins to confess his feelings to her when the guy comes in between them and reveals himself to be Tom Cruise from twenty years ago. When questioned on this by Chris, he claims he took the time machine from Back to the Future, claiming to be in the movie.
Immediately, Anna sees through the sham and rips off the shades to reveal Damien. He lunges towards Chris, trying to punch him but trips over himself as he does. Chris runs away, staring at the murderous look on Damien’s face as he screams at him to come back. Chris gets in his car and hits the gas, driving out of sight. Angry at her night being ruined, Anna tells him they were just hanging out, even though Damien persists he’s trying to drive a wedge between the two. She storms off to her car, saying she’ll see him tomorrow. Damien stands alone and chases off a kid who thought he really was Tom Cruise.
The next morning, the incident tends worldwide with all the pundits and even a few players getting on Damien's case. Jackson is interviewed on this and promises to deal with it as soon as he can. Sure enough, he calls Damien into his office and asks him what's going on. Damien goes on a tirade, claiming Chris is stealing his girlfriend and that he saw everything. Jackson calms him down, explaining that no one is stealing anything. Chris and Anna are friends, nothing more. He tells Damien to stop being a fool and focus on the EL championship game against the New Jersey Aces, one of the best teams in the league.
As Damien walks out of his office, a few of the players eyeball him, a few whispering to each other. He heads out of the Slingers team building and gets out his phone. At another part of town, a conventionally-attractive woman is busy taking selfies when the phone rings. She groans in frustration upon seeing her brother's name and coldly asks him what he wants. Desperate, Damien asks Natalie (Kieran Shipka) if she's heard of the scandal. Natalie has, but she doesn't care. She'll have to now as Damien pleads her to do something about Chris. After getting a description, she agrees on the grounds he plugs her Instagram.
That evening, Chris is finishing up his study session on the Aces when he hears a knock on the door. He comes over and finds Natalie innocently looking around, asking if she can stay over for the night, the power went out in her house. Chris agrees, granting him a hug. All throughout the night, Natalie does things to provoke his affections, coming to a head when Chris unintentionally sees up her skirt. He apologizes profusely, only for Natalie (who didn't know this happened to begin with) pushes him onto the bed, crawling onto his body, telling him that he knows what he needs. She takes off her shirt and the scene cuts away…
The next day, Chris looks around the locker room, feeling jittery when he sees Anna. He explains his lack of focus on 'big game jitters'. Suddenly, Natalie enters, giving a flirtatious wink to him much to her confusion. The game proves to be a struggle as Chris appears flustered and makes several mental errors. Natalie stays by the stands, cheering for him, only baffling everyone. Nonetheless, he does well enough to make the 7th inning stretch where the cheerleading squad announces a dance-off to anyone in the stands. Natalie is picked from the big screen and makes her seductive walk to the field eyeing Anna. The two take turns, showing off their dance moves before Natalie stops, gesturing for Chris to join her on the mound. Puzzled, he gets on the mound and is immediately struck with a kiss.
Stunned, Chris pushes her away and storms off the field. Natalie turns to Anna, claiming to have 'hit it out of the park' with him and watches as Anna runs away in tears. Chris fumes in the locker room when she sees Anna walking off in a huff. She yells at him for doing this and an argument ensues, ending with her revealing her crush on him. She thought he was different, but she was wrong. She walks away, leaving Chris more upset than before. He then sees the team triumphantly walking in, Damien leading the way. He boasts about how his home run brought them to their first ABL championship in decades when he sees Chris.
Damien taunts him mercilessly, saying he knew it wouldn't last. Damien brings out his sister who sneers at him, saying his dick would've sucked anyway. Damien gets in Chris’s face and seeing the tear in his eyes asks if he’s going to cry, goading him to make a move. Suddenly, Chris spits in his eye and leaps onto his feet, landing a few punches before teammates forcibly restrain them. That evening, they are called into Jackson’s office where he tells them he never wants to see an incident like this again. Especially not when they’re this close to winning a championship. Damien assures him that there will never be any incidents again and walks off. Concerned, Jackson asks Chris if he’s going to be okay. He says he will be, a shiner never hurt anyone. He apologizes before heading out the office, slumping onto the wall, crying to himself.
All of a sudden, he hears a soft voice asking if he’s okay. Chris looks up and sees Anna. He turns away, saying he’s not worthy of her time. Anna sits by his side and admits that as she was heading home, one of the cheerleaders told her something was going on inside the locker room and she saw Natalie and Damien embarrassing him. Chris reveals that Natalie tried to have sex with him, but he pushed her aside, realizing it was a trick to get his mind off her. Realizing he has nothing to lose, he tells Anna that he has a crush on her. She’s such a nice, kind, thoughtful person and he betrayed the trust she gave her. Anna admits she really did like him. He was so different from all the other men she dated. He seemed genuine. And she was right. She says that Damien has been such an ass to her, talking about how ‘she shouldn’t see other guys’ while parading her around like a stripper. The two agree that from now on, they’ll tell each other everything and hug one another. Jay takes a glance at the scene, realizing that his prediction several days back may have been right.
Damien doesn’t come to practice for the next few days, leaving teammates worried. Even Anna doesn’t know what’s going on as the team prepares to go up against the Oak League champions, Los Angeles Naturals. The big game comes, Jackson letting Chris give the speech. He admits that things have been crazy as of late, but that even without Damien, they’re still the finest team in the Evergreen League, listing out some of the great things he’s seen this season and rallying the troops to perform like never before. Energized, the team heads out to the Naturals field where they await for the arrival of the Oak League champions. Sure enough, the Naturals come forward, receiving a standing ovation when Chris sees Damien wearing a Naturals uniform. Shocked, Chris asks Jackson what happened. Jackson reveals that he find a loophole in the ABL rulebook and convinced the commissioner to trade him to the Naturals.
Despite this shocking turn of events, both teams keep it extremely close through the game, the pitchers doing their best to keep the other from scoring. Regardless, a clutch hit by one of the Naturals leaders breaks the tie in the 8th, putting the pressure on The Slingers in the 9th to stay alive. The first batter grounds out, the second strikes out. Jay comes up on the plate, ready to provide for his team. The pitch comes and it decks him on the head. The players watch in horror as Jay is carted off, leaving Jackson to scramble for a pinch-hitter. Chris glances at the field, seeing Damien’s mocking expression and insists on going in. His request is accepted and he goes up to bat. To everyone's shock, he goes the distance taking three balls and two strikes. The pitcher throws a fastball and Chris hits it deep to right field. The ball bounces off the wall and Damien picks it up. He sees Chris on his way to third and rounding home and throws the ball as hard as he can to the catcher. Chris slides and the umpire rules that he is…
Out.
By the slimmest of margins.
The Los Angeles Naturals celebrate winning the ABL championship as Damien watches a dejected Chris be consoled by Jackson and Anna. The commissioner arrives, awarding the game MVP trophy to Damien, surprisingly to jeers. Damien gives a phony speech about how he loved being with the Naturals and how Los Angeles is a great city when Anna storms up to the podium, insisting he tell them why he really joined. To humiliate Chris. She dumps him right on the spot and turns to leave when Damien grabs her by the hand. She kicks him right in the balls and takes the MVP trophy. She ushers Chris up to the mound and gives the trophy to the 'real' MVP, Chris Hedges. The crowd give him a standing ovation, Chris looking on in stunned silence before staring at Anna and kissing her.
One year later:
A brief montage shows what became of everyone after the season. Jay is traded to Houston to make room for new prospect and goes on a tear, Damien is seen striking out, this time as a Kansas City Tornado and is mocked by fans for what happened last year, meanwhile his sister (now a cheerleader for the Atlanta Sax) tries to keep from laughing, focusing on the crowd. Helping her is the fact she always wears her skirt just a little too short. Meanwhile Chris and Anna become one of the most popular couples in all of sport and he has an even better season than last year.
And then, the ABL Championship. It has come down to the Mustangs and Slingers. With the score at 10-9, Jay is down to his final out. Chris stares at his friend, smiling apologetically. Jay nods back. Chris winds up, throwing his best pitch. Jay swings with all his might…
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