Genre: Animation/Comedy/Family
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Writer: Jacob Jones
Voice Cast: Adam Sandler, Elizabeth Banks, Malina Weissman, Jahi Di'Allo Winston, Wyatt Oleff, Zach Galifianakis, Tina Fey, Cree Cicchino, Alison Bartlett
Plot: “My name is Eris Florakis, and my lizard is possessed.”
In a small room inside a house in the heart of Chicago, a lizard wakes up inside his glass cage. He peers the area with his eyes before noting several pieces of paper by his owner’s desk. He smirks deviously before climbing up and pushing the top of the cage open. As he begins to make his way towards the paper, the girl describes him as a ‘reptilian creature’ with ‘powers untold’. In actuality, the lizard stands on top of the pile of papers, reading through and judging them, ripping any page he finds inadequate. When he reaches the last page, he sits on it, taking a rather large poop (or as the girl calls it, a ‘brown mass of disgusting proportions’ before compiling his feces and turning it into a ball.
The lizard crawls onto the walls of the house, tapping on them and garnering the attention of a small mouse. The mouse sees the ball of feces and cringes in disgust. Overzealous, the lizard goads the mouse into catching the ball of feces and placing it inside his makeshift hut. The girl does not know why it is, but she hasn’t bothering asking. This is who Discord (Adam Sandler), her pet lizard is. And that was how she lost her homework.
The class stares at Eris (Malina Weissman), a girl with multiple bandages on her face and knees, baffled by this poem/explanation for why she didn’t turn in her homework. Ms. Catch (Allison Bartlett) fakes a smile, admitting that there’s always a first for everything’. Embarrassed, Eris sits by her best friend Jude (Cree Cicchino) who asks her if all this really happened. Eris nods, saying that she forgot to mention what happened to her laptop (spilled water on it).
After class, Eris and Jude begin to make their way home when Eris bumps into one of her classmates. One look at his face and she begins to blush. Jonah (Jahi Di'Allo Winston) smirks back, complimenting her on the story. Before the two can continue, Maxwell (Wyatt Oleff) skates in, colliding with Eris as he makes his grand entrance. After seeing this, he rushes up to Eris and Jonah, making sure that they’re alright. Eris brushes it off, saying that it’s a ‘typical day’ for her, and walks off.
Upon returning home, Eris is greeted by her parents Aaron (Zach Galifianakis) and Angelica (Tina Fey). She doesn’t talk for long, storming up to her room in haste and lying on her bed in agony. Upon seeing this, Discord gently taps on his cage, trying to get his owner’s attention. Eris peers over her pet’s cage and tells him she can’t play with him right now. She has to figure out what she’s going to do to make up for the homework fiasco. Appearing apologetic, Discord tries to act cute by doing some tricks. Seeing him flop is enough to get her to smile and she opens his cage, letting him sit on her shoulder.
That evening as Eris is sleeping, Discord tries to quietly sneak out of his cage, peaking at Eris's face as he does. As he crawls on the walls, he keeps a look out for a tiny hole by the kitchen. After finding it, he sticks his head in the hole, waking up Squeaker (Elizabeth Banks). Irritated, she asks what he could want at this time of day. Discord and Squeaker head outside where he talks about how Eris dedicated a poem just for him, oblivious to the fact that he was called 'possessed' even as Squeaker lists the things he's done over the years. Squeaker warns him that one day he's going to do something that gets him in a lot of trouble. Discord isn't afraid, he follows a certain lifestyle. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Exasperated, Squeaker tells him to go to bed.
The next day, Discord is lying on his perch when he hears loud screaming coming from the living room. Eris rushes inside her room and excitedly tells Discord that Jonah asked her out to the big Valentines Day dance. Despite his lack of interest on the topic, Discord listens to his owner gab on about how 'amazing' he is.
Once Eris leaves, Discord begins to wonder who this 'Jonah' is. Over the next few days, he hears Jonah's name be brought up multiple times either by Eris or her parents. During this time, he is also ignored by Eris as she fusses over the date. One afternoon, a hungry Discord tries to get Eris's attention, only to find her busy talking with Jude and what to do for the date with Jonah. As an infuriated Discord slithers off, Jude tells her that the best advice she can give her is to be herself.
Eris frowns upon hearing this, citing her clumsiness and awful luck. Jude reassures her by calling her a smart, sweet, kind-hearted friend who never lets anyone down. Having just gotten into a box full of Graham crackers, Discord listens by the walls, mocking Jude's voice. Squeaker catches him, teasingly asking how he feels about the spotlight being off him. Discord calls it horrible and that he's sick of Jonah stealing the attention he once had. When he brings up how Eris forgot to give him his afternoon snack, Squeaker admits that things may have gone too far. Unfortunately, there isn't much he can do. He'll either have to wait until her parents notice or do something that gets her attention.
The next day, Eris goes dress shopping with Jude. Bored out of his wits, Discord decides to hitchhike on top of the family car and nearly gets flown off as the car goes speeding along the road before reaching the fashion store. He dizzily stumbles off the car before waiting for his family to get in the store. After his entrance, Discord wanders around, trying to see what he can find. After much observing, Discord comes across a remote part of the store, completely different from everywhere else. Curious, he decides to investigate further.
Discord looks through several unusual and odd pieces of clothing before finding an apparently quaint hat on a table. To its left however is a remote control with multiple buttons and commands. He learns that the hat is a 'mind-control hat' and that whoever has the remote can make the person wearing it do anything they want. Sensing this as his opportunity, Discord gets himself and the remote under the hat and out of the store around the same time Eris and her family do.
After relaying the plan to Squeaker, she protests the idea of ‘mind-control’. Discord claims to have been left with no alternative, saying that he has to get Eris back somehow, and if he has to ruin her date, then that's what he'll do. He decides to start his plan tomorrow, tasking Squeaker to get a piece of paper and pencil. Once done, she is forced to write a note as Eris's mother, explaining that she found a hat in the store and figured that she'd like it. Afterwards, Discord gets some sticky tape and places the note by Eris's bedroom as she's sleeping.
That morning, Eris reads the note and discovers the hat by her computer desk. Curious, she picks it up and places it on her head. She looks at herself in the mirror and smiles contently before feeding Discord and heading to school. Once she's gone, Discord picks up the remote control he hid under her bed and looks at all the options before finding a dial that grows or shrinks a person's brain. Smirking deviously, Discord decides to set it to the absolute lowest.
At school, Eris feels the effects of the hat as she trips over herself more so than usual and says incredibly inane one-liners and non-sequiturs that have Jonah amused, but Jude concerned. When she tries to talk some sense into her, Eris tells a story about the donut baby factory. Maxwell enters the fray, amused by Eris's antics. He then talks to Jude about the dance and noticing her blushing profusely begins to show off his cool side much to Eris's confusion. The bell rings before Maxwell can ask Jude if she wants to go to the dance with him or not.
That afternoon, Eris talks to Discord about her weird day. She's not sure what happened, but given how things are, she assumes it's one of those days and expresses relief that Jonah liked whatever she was doing. That evening, Discord sneaks out of his cage and calls out for Squeaker. As the two head outside, Discord proclaims that it's time for him to 'get serious' and asks if Squeaker knows where Jude's house is. Despite her clear contempt for the idea, Squeaker tells him that Jude doesn't live too far from Eris, only two blocks.
As the two walk through town, Discord explains that Eris has a soft spot for cheesy teenage comedies and claims that if he's able to turn Eris into a caricature of a mean girl like those in the movies, he'll be able to turn Jonah away from her. Upon arriving at Jude's house, Discord tells Squeaker to keep an eye out for anything suspicious as he goes in.
As Discord scatters into Jude's room, he spots her phone charging by her desk. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he pulls the phone off the charger and sneaks off with it, heading outside to send an urgent text to Eris. The next morning, she reads in a panic that Jonah isn't entirely sure that he's going to take her to the dance and that he ideally wants someone who's assertive, fashion savvy and self-confident. All things she is not.
That morning, Squeaker is forced into observation duty as Eris discusses Jude's text. Maxwell interrupts with his trademark entrance and captures Jude's attention. There, Discord subtly flips the kindness dial to its absolute lowest, causing Eris to shove Maxwell aside much to his and Jude's shock. All throughout this and the next few days, Eris begins to act erratically as Discord messes around with the dials and tries to find the 'perfect formula' for a mean girl personality.
One day, disaster threatens to strike as Eris decides to go to school without her hat. Fearing the plan will be ruined, Discord sets Squeaker out to look for Eris. As she enters the school, totally blinded by the hat, she hears Ms. Catch talking to Eris, mentioning how concerned she is about her recent behavior and asks if everything is alright. Eris makes up a lie, saying that life (specifically whether or not Jonah will like her for her) has just been stressing her out lately causing Ms. Catch to tell her that Jonah will like her for who she truly is, promising that things will work out.
Jonah accidentally steps on Squeaker's tail as the talk finishes, causing her to squeak out in pain and she throws the hat off, hiding in a locker out of fear. Before leaving, she catches a glimpse of Jonah giving Eris her hat and notices how Jonah seems to like Eris even without the hat. When she relays this notion to Discord however, he says that it's far too late to turn back. He has found the formula for creating a mean girl and has already ordered several new pieces of clothing by using Angelica's credit card. It's there Squeaker finally has enough and tells him off for how selfish he's being. She knows where this is going and no longer wants any part of it.
As Squeaker storms off, Discord begins to ponder whether or not he's doing the right thing and stares at the remote. After thinking about how ignored he felt when Eris first brought up the date and Jonah, he frowns, claiming that a 'lesson' still needs to be taught. The next morning, just before Eris wakes up, Discord sneaks the hat onto her head and watches as Eris dresses up in something extremely fashionable, removing her 'ugly' bandages in the process. The shift in character is noticed by everyone, including Jude who is constantly ignored by her.
For the next few days, Eris acts like a jerk towards everyone, judging Jude's clothes, gossiping about others and even flirting with Maxwell behind Jonah and Jude's backs. Little does Discord know, his actions are giving Eris serious headaches and having her doubt her identity. One day, Jude gets Jonah and Maxwell together and tells them that she's sick of what Eris has turned into, watching the 'real' Eris back. Jonah agrees, saying he's not sure he wants to take her to the dance anymore. When Maxwell reveals what happened between him and Eris, Jude adamantly tells them that they need to throw an intervention, offering to call her parents to make it happen.
The next day, Eris makes her way down the stairs when she sees her friends along with Aaron and Angelica sitting together. Aaron asks Eris to take a seat much to her confusion. One by one, she listens to everyone's concerns about her behavior, baffling her. When she tells Jude to 'buzz off', Aaron is alarmed and tries to examine her, finding nothing at first. When she begins to complain about a headache however, her friends anxiously gather towards the two.
Angelica tries to get Eris to tell her what's going on, seeing the discomfort and fear in her eyes. What comes next surprises everyone as Eris has a full-on nervous breakdown, crying hysterically and apologizing for everything. As this is going on, an annoyed Discord sneaks out to the living room under the hat, bringing the remote control with him. Upon seeing Eris in great pain, a twinge of remorse begins to flow past him, only to be replaced by fear as Jude notices the hat. She asks Eris where she got the hat only for her to admit that she doesn't know, claiming her mom got her it.
Angelica is confused, saying that she doesn't remember buying her a hat. Everyone tries to figure out how Eris got the hat when Maxwell sees the hat moving. He chases after the hat, watching as it gets up to Eris's shoulder. A remote control soon drops onto the floor, causing the hat to stop in place and giving Maxwell enough time to reveal Discord.
Later that day. Angelica calls the fashion store to apologize and offers to return the hat. Jonah watches on, bewildered when Eris walks up to him asking if they're still cool. Jonah looks at her, then Discord and frowns, telling her that he'll see her tomorrow and walks off.
That evening, Discord sits in his cage pouting as he watches Eris scold him for trying to ruin her date and life by trying to control her mind, stating she could’ve had her brain permanently stunted. She asks him if he even knows who Jonah is. Discord rolls his eyes, further infuriating Eris. She tells him that for most of her life, she's been looked down at as a loser and a klutz outside of her friends. Her date with Jonah was the best thing she ever had, and now it may be gone. Discord remains silent, hiding his guilt in the process. Furious, Eris declares that she hates him and walks off, slamming the door in the process.
After her departure, Discord's childish demeanor morphs into one of complete regret when he hears Squeaker say that she told him it was a mistake. Discord glares at her, before admitting he messed up. When he saw Eris's friends confront her, that was when he first realized how important they meant to her. And yet, he couldn't resist the temptation. He calls himself 'the worst pet in the world' as he lowers his head in shame.
Seeing the saddened state of her friend, Squeaker climbs up to Discord's cage, telling him that there's still a way he can make this right and it all begins with him getting Jonah and Eris back together. Discord questions how he's going to be able to do that. Squeaker then gives him a pep talk, calling him resourceful and smart. As bad as things have been, she knows that even a ‘possessed’ lizard can set things right. This speech is enough to motivate Discord and he thanks her for the pickup.
The following afternoon, Discord sneaks out of his cage and takes Eris’s phone. He scrolls through the contacts until he finds Jonah. He begins to type, speaking as himself. He apologizes for all the chaos he’s caused and asks him to still consider taking Eris to the dance. Amazed by the fact Eris’s lizard can type, Jonah tells Discord that he’ll talk to her later today. When Eris gets home from the doctor, she enters her room and finds not only Discord, but Jonah carrying a letter.
Eris first reads the letter, finding it was written by Discord. He apologizes for causing her and everyone so much grief and that it was spurred on by jealousy. He should have realized how important her friends meant to her and promises never to mess with her or them again. To his surprise, Eris apologizes back saying that she should have noticed Discord was feeling neglected and promises to listen to him if he needs anything. Eris admits that it’ll take some time to fully return to normalize , but Jonah promises to help with that by getting down on his knees and declaring his love to her, just for being herself. He asks her if she still wants to come to the dance with him. Overcome with emotion, Eris accepts the offer.
The day of the dance arrives and Eris has the time of her life alongside Jonah and her friends. Discord stands by the punch bowl alongside Squeaker, both agreeing that this is a happy ending. She also catches Discord trying to swim in the punch bowl. Back with the group, Maxwell gets the courage to ask out Jude for a date later this week, to which she replies that she’s wanted to ask him. She kisses him on the cheek, telling him that she’ll be available on Friday. The slow dance starts and the two couples (along with Discord and Squeaker) begin to dance together. Jonah and Eris are about to kiss…
When all of a sudden, an air horn Everyone looks on, amused as Discord carries an air horn, motioning at a group of kids to stay away. All Eris can do is smile.
“Yep, that's my lizard. He may not be possessed, but he’s one of a kind.”
The two chuckle, exchanging a kiss as Discord and Squeaker head off, proceeding to make plans for the after party later tonight.
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