Genre: Western/Comedy
Director: Peyton Reed
Writer: Harry Wright
Based on the Lucky Luke comic series
Cast: Paul Rudd, John Cusack, Zach Galifianakis, Peter Dinklage, Charlie Day, Logan Lerman, Gwendoline Christie, Sam Elliott, Diana Rigg
Plot: Ma Dalton (Diana Rigg) is on her honeymoon with Sheriff Dunne (Sam Eliott). They got married after Dunne freed Ma from prison after she was imprisoned following a bank robbery, where she got all her cash, the same cash that allowed them to be in this very honeymoon. They cross a street, where Dunne is nearly knocked down by a man on a horse. It angers good ol’ Ma who takes out the gun she hides in her umbrella. Dunne tells her to calm down, but she refuses. She aims for the man and when she shoots, the recoil knocks her down and she misses her target completely. She takes down her suitcase with her and it opens. Some cash fly away, but nothing to concern her. She closes it fast. A man sitting across the street comes to their help, his name is Billy (Logan Lerman). He has a huge grin on his face and as he positions himself behind them, he points his gun at Ma and Dunne discretely. He says that once they cross the street, they will enter the hotel and they will follow him to his room, which is what they do. Dunne pees in his pants and Ma starts to panic. In the hotel room, Billy says he’s not just Billy, he’s Billy the Kid. Ma tries to take her gun out of her umbrella , but she can’t. Dunne asks if he can change his pants to be more presentable and Billy refuses. He says he will only accept one thing, their money, in exchange for their life. Ma is able to free her gun from the umbrella and she’s once again knocked down by the recoil and she misses yet, again. Her head hits the floor hard and she dies on the floor. Dunne can’t believe it and as he mourns the death of his wife, Billy steals the money. Dunne gets downstairs without his pants and asks for help, but nobody will help him.
The Dalton brothers, Joe (John Cusack), William (Zach Galifianakis), Jack (Charlie Day) and Averell (Peter Dinklage) are all sitting at a round table in a saloon in the middle of a small, unnamed town. They’re counting the money their mother left them before she ran away with Dunne, mere seconds after she unlocked their prison door. All four of them count a different total and they argue which one is right, it’s probably Averell, but the two others seem to favor Joe, as he’s the tallest. Averell doesn’t understand the correlation between the two, but at that point in his life, he learned that it’s sometimes best to let some of things slide, he learned to choose his battle and this is one that he chooses not to fight.
Lucky Luke (Paul Rudd) gets off his horse, Jolly Jumper and enters the sheriff’s office, where he meets the new sheriff in town, Calamity Jane (Gwendoline Christie). They had their differences in the past, but they decided to set their differences aside to achieve one common goal, catching, once and for all, the Dalton brothers. Calamity Jane has bad, or good news for Lucky Luke, it depends on which way you look at it. Ma Dalton is dead. Luke can’t believe the official cause of death. We see a montage of Ma’s life as a criminal, where she robbed banks and killed sheriffs and she ultimately dies hitting her head after firing a shotgun. A tough woman who became so fragile died so spontaneously, life is weird sometimes. Lucky Luke want to go there to interrogate Dunne who disappeared with Ma following her escape and he thinks he’s behind it all. Jane accepts and they both ride their horse in the desert.
The Daltons finally agreed on a sum, spoiler alert, they’re wrong. Joe and William want to go spend it all, but they can’t agree what to buy. Right now, it’s a tie between a streetcar a set of guitars. One is more useful than the other, but they settle with what will bring them the most joy, the guitars. This is a battle Averell decides to fight, but they quickly dismiss him, telling him that he’s just jealous because he can’t play the guitar. He argues that neither one of the can, but they don’t care. As they’re about to leave the saloon to buy their guitars, a man enters and joyfully announce that Ma Dalton, the renowned outlaw, is dead. The saloon owner rejoices as the three tallest Dalton start to cry. Averell begs them to shut up. They leave the saloon and go buy their guitars, as Averell looks on, disappointed with his brothers’ decision.
Lucky Luke and Calamity Jane are in the middle of the desert and both of them are bored. They decide to hold a contest to decide which one of them can shoot faster, to satisfy their burning ego. They get off their horse and place glass jars on rocks. They walk 20 steps and they agree that on three they will turn around and the first one to shoot is the winner. Lucky Luke and Jane start to count and Lucky Luke fast counts the three and shoots first. Calamity Jane wants them to start over, which they do, but this time, Luke just doesn’t shoot. Jane says she won, but Luke wants them to start again. They start again and this time, Luke turns around much faster than Jane and breaks the glass jar. Luke is the man who shoots faster than his shadow, so it’s sure he won. Jane asks him why he didn’t do that the first time around and he says that it’s because it’s more satisfying to see her face after she beat him first, it’s just for his ego. He smiles as he gets back on Jolly Jumper.
They are still riding in the desert, when two robbers stop them, asking them for their money. They don’t who they tried to rob… Lucky Luke uses his incredible speed to aim at the robbers and he starts shooting randomly at his feet, to make him dance, as Calamity Jane holds the other one at gunpoint. The dancing robber gets back on his horse and he rides away and so does the other one. Lucky Luke starts to whistle, flips his gun in the air and buries it in his pocket in an act of extreme coolness. Jane and him laugh as they realise that they just scared two robbers and made them run away.
The Daltons, now a group of drifters are going to their mother funeral, with the intent of signing an original composition. Believe me, it’s epically bad. They enter the saloon, where the funeral is to be held and they meet their step-father, Sheriff Dunne, who retells them their mother less than glorious last moments. He forgets to mention that he wet his pants and as he finishes the story, Billy the Kid arrives and adds the little detail, to the amusement of the Daltons. Dunne, who hasn’t seen Billy the Kid since that fateful day, challenges him to a duel, a good, old-fashioned stand-off. Everyone gathers outside but Averell who stays inside to drink. He tries to forget what happened in the last couple of days. They start their duel and they walk away from each other. A gunshot is heard as the camera focuses on Averell. Billy the Kid comes at the bar and taps Averell on the shoulder. The three other Dalton brothers are mourning the loss of their step-father, they were already attached. He peed in his pants before he died, how ironic.
Lucky Luke and Calamity Jane finally arrive at the funeral with the hopes of catching the Daltons. They enter the saloon as a very bad music group is playing on the stage. The sing a real bad song about Ma Dalton, really cringey. Lucky Luke laughs his ass off as they start another one, because the Daltons didn’t prepare one song, oh no. Inspired by the death of Dunne, they wrote six other songs in an intense jamming session. Lucky Luke has a feeling that the men on stage are the Daltons, but he can’t properly recognize them with their disguise and besides, there are only three members in the all-strings group. As the third song ends, William Dalton recognizes Lucky Luke and signals his presence to his two brothers. They start pointing at Luke who begins to wonder even more that it’s the Daltons up on the stage. He approaches them and he starts playing with them, asking them questions about their lives and he enjoy watching them struggle to come up with answers without consulting the other two. It all stops when Averell, drunk as a skunk, enters the room and starts trash talking his mother, who was never there for them when they needed her the most. His brothers are mad at him because he blowed their cover, but Lucky Luke reminds them that he already knew they were the Daltons. Calamity Jane arrives and puts them in custody. Luke asks them where their mother and their own money and they is answer that Billy the Kid took it. The name sounds familiar to Lucky Luke. As they leave the saloon, Lucky Luke hears someone calling his name; Billy the Kid.
Lucky Luke tells Calamity Jane and the Daltons to stay out of it. He comes face to face with Billy the Kid. Luke tells him that he will arrest him right here and there, for the murder of Sheriff Dunne and Ma Dalton, because we all know for sure that the old cookie didn’t die by herself. Billy the Kid challenges him to a series of duels and the winner will win Ma’s money. Luke doesn’t care about the fortune and he just want justice to be served, so he accepts.
The first challenge is a horse-riding obstacle course. Luke gets on Jolly Jumper and lays back, almost lying back-first on the horse, chewing tobacco. Jolly Jumper completes the obstacle course all by himself, beating Billy the Kid by a significant margin. Billy says it’s unfair because Jolly Jumper did it all by himself, but Luke laughs it off and reminds him that he’s the one who chose the challenges. The second challenge is the exact same thing he did with Calamity Jane in the middle of the desert, only this time, Luke isn’t able to fire his gun, it’s jammed, so Billy wins this one easily. Luke complains that there should be a redo, but Billy reminds him that he’s the one in charge of the rules and seeing that his gun is jammed and that they’re tied up, he suggests that they jump straight to the final challenge, a good, old-fashioned stand-off.
Calamity Jane expresses concerns about Lucky Luke, since his gun is jammed, but he assures that he has everything under control. They walk a certain amount of steps and they both take deep breaths. Luke calls for a timeout because he has a rock in his shoe, which Billy grants. They start the procedure one more time, only to have Lucky Luke delay everything once again, because he has something stuck in his eye. He goes to see Calamity Jane to request her help with his eye and he takes advantage of the distraction to switch their guns. They start again one more time and this time, they’re both ready. Lucky Luke draws a deep breath and he turns around. He plants a bullet right in Billy’s hat before he even has the time to move. He says he’s Lucky Luke, the man who shoots faster than his shadow, he flips his gun and buries it in his socket. He hands Billy over to Calamity Jane who has her hands full with the Daltons, as he Lucky Luke rides away in the sunset on Jolly Jumper with his bags full of money.
Mid-Credits Scene : We see Lucky Luke making all sorts of extravagant purchases, all unnecessary items that will be totally useless. In the end, Jolly Jumper is unable to carry everything and he decides to finally use everything he bought, including musical instruments. He composes a really bad song, but at least, he says, it’s not as bad as the Daltons’.
Post-Credit Scene: Lucky Luke is in jail and he pays a visit to the Daltons. He sings them his song and they all think think it’s the worst thing they’ve ever heard. Lucky Luke smiles as the camera fades.
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